Anything
by Raywe
Summary: "Look out!" "You saved me, I owe you one James" "You don't have to" "You sure? I'll do anything" "Anything?" oops someone forgot who she was talking to, enjoy!
1. Train trip

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter J.K Rowling does and she is probably really proud of her imagination that inspires so many others ;)**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 1**

Lily's POV

There he stood, in the door smirking stupidly at her. Oh how I wish I could hex that ridiculous smirk off of him. I felt my face heat at the very thought of what he might say next. _Hey Evans everywhere else is full so I might as well squeeze in here next to you, _Stupid Potter and his _I'm the best looking guy you'll ever meet so take a long good look at me before I disappear, _that's what I want. That's the only thing I want, I want him to disappear from my sight and never reappear again. But no, every time he goes away I'm allowed to enjoy the moment for just a second before he's back again. Always that stupid smirk on his face, always that same messy hair, always that un-tucked shirt and always, always that self-absorbed, couldn't-care-less, brat! He was always strutting around the castle with his friends and cursing Slytherins as if he owned the school. This year I know he isn't going to be any different but since it's my last year I'm not going to let him get to me. I simply directed my gaze on his friends instead ignoring his existence. Black had obviously gotten a tiny bit taller and stood next to his friends with his head held high. Stupid marauder! Peter was as usually the quiet one standing a little on the side where no one noticed him. Then there was Remus. I've never clearly understood why Remus is friends with them or why he's a marauder. Still he is one of them but he doesn't act anything like them, he's kind and cares for what others think. He's also very smart and I do enjoy studying with him. No one can say that Remus isn't the most down to earth one of the marauders cause that, my friend, would be a major lie. He didn't think he could just snap his fingers and his work would be done, he worked for it and didn't stop until he was done. When he starts on something he can't just leave it and complete it later, he always completes the project the same day as he started it, without pauses. I admire his stubbornness, he some times tell me that I'm pretty stubborn myself but always wave it away and reply that I will never be as stubborn as him when it comes to school work. Of course I finish my work on the same day I start it too but I do at least allow myself to take a break.

"Dreaming about me are we?" a voice interrupted my thinking.

"No" I muttered stiffly and looked out through the window at the world passing by.

"Well you sure were out for a while there Evans" Potter continued not even once letting the smirk slip his face "I do have that effect sometimes"

"Well Potter as you should have understood by now" I growled "I'm not one of the girls from your drooling fan club"

Why can't he just leave already?

"You seemed so lonely so I felt we should give you some company" Potter said slinking down in the seat next to me.

"And what are we!" Dorcas exclaimed from her corner gesturing to her and Alice "a bowl of porridge?"

That was when Black decided to join the _fun._

"No of course not!" he exclaimed dramatically "you're the most beautiful bowl of porridge in magical history Dorcas dear"

He sat himself down next to her and put an arm around her.

"Oh, shut up Black" she said with an expression of disgust while she removed his arm from her shoulders.

Remus shot me an apologetic look and turned to his friends.

"Well, I'm going now" he announced "and if I find an empty compartment I'll come back for you later"

"You don't have to come back for us Moony" Black grinned.

"Yeah, I think we'll be staying here for the rest of the trip" Potter continued.

That's it I've had enough, there is no way in hell I'm letting them stay here for the rest of the trip.

"No you're not!" I said standing up.

"Oh yes we are Evans" Potter grinned "you can't decide what we do"

Why that obnoxious little…

"Fine, then I'm leaving" I stormed across the compartment and past Remus but was stopped by a strong hand grabbing my arm.

It was holding me rather hard but he fallowed me while I tried to walk away. I looked up into the face of Remus Lupin to find him smiling.

"So I can't even fallow you now huh?" he said when we were out of earshot.

"Sorry, I thought it was Potter or Black" I said quietly trying to calm down.

He studied my expression and loosened the grip on my arm.

"Its okay, James can be pretty annoying sometimes"

I stared at him as if he'd gone crazy.

"Sometimes" I exclaimed "I don't know what he's like around you but he's never been anything but annoying around me"

I don't think that that brat has showed me any part of him that's not annoying. When he gets good grades I'm annoyed by the fact that he barely study. When he plays Quidditch he thinks that the game is all about him. When he laughs at jokes he plays with his hair at the same time which makes him look arrogant and that annoys me too. Every thing that surrounds Potter makes me frustrated. He never leaves me alone either, he's always flirting with me or teasing me or asking me out and I just don't stand him. We arrived at a compartment that looked empty so we opened the door and stepped inside.

"What are you doing here" we heard a voice from our left.

I jumped at the sound and turned around to see none other than Severus Snape sitting in the corner reading _Magical Drafts and Potions _this was a first year book but I know he likes to read them anyway.

"We thought this compartment was empty" Remus said calmly beside me "but I guess we'll find another one"

He took my arm and dragged me out of the compartment.

"Yeah it's probably better that way since I don't want to be the one to experience the sight of you two snogging" Snape spat after us.

I was just about to turn around and hex him but Remus refused to let go of me. He shook his head and dragged me further down the train. We would probably look for hours and when we find a compartment we'll already be there. Remus seemed to think the same thing so he sighed and turned around again.

"I guess we don't have a choice" he muttered grimly "either its Snape or James and Sirius"

Even thou I hated Potter and Black the thought of us sitting with Snape made me want to kill myself. So I admitted defeat and dragged my feet back to my friends, Potter and Black. When we arrived I decided that I'd make Black move his arse so that I could sit next to Dorcas and Alice. But when we entered the compartment Black was almost sitting in Potters lap staring frightened at Dorcas who was looking ready to kill. I looked questioningly at Alice who just shook her head and patted the seat next to her. I decided to let it go this time and just go with the flow until we arrived. And as said, a few hours later we arrived at Hogsmead station and un-boarded the train (somewhere during the trip they kicked the guys out of the compartment so they could change and then the other way round, thou James had insisted that he didn't mind having them there while he changed XD) the first years fallowed Hagrid and me and my friends made our way to the carriages.

**So what do you think? I don't want to be one of those people that crave rewievs so remember that you don't _have _to but I appreciate it if you do, oh well I hope you enjoyed it ;) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter since J.K Rowling is brilliant, enjoy**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 2**

I stepped inside the great hall of Hogwarts and took in my surroundings. The sealing looked as it usually did with stars on the night sky but something was just different this time. This is my last year so I want to make memorable. Maybe I should tryout for the Quidditch team or go on a date, a date that Potter won't scare away. Every time I get a date they always cancel by sending a letter. Some thou told me to my face and every one of them sort of stuttered and refused to look me in the eyes. Naturally I know that its Potters fault, he probably hexed them or something. In his head I _belong_ to him, even if I decline every one of his invitations to Hogsmead with him, he always comes back. He's like a dog, if you throw a stick for him to fetch he always comes back with it in his mouth.

"Hey Evans" Potter calls through the hall "over here"

He's patting the seat next to him; I roll my eyes and ignore him. Instead I search the crowd for Alice and Dorcas. That's when I notice a lot of sniggering to my left. I look over at the Slytherin table where Snape is sitting with his Slytherin _friends_. They're looking in the marauders direction and some of them are clutching their stomachs, trying not to laugh. Stupid boys, I repeat the words trying to find my friends. And through the crowd I spot Alice with her shoulder length brown hair and grey eyes. I wave at her and she pushes her way through to me.

"Have you seen Dorcas" we ask each other in unison.

"I'll take that as a no" we said again.

"Guys you're scaring me, stop that" a voice is heard from my right.

And of course here we have my dirty-blonde haired friend with cocoa brown eyes. I chuckled a little smiling at my friends and putting my arms around them.

"Whatever you say Dorcas dear" I imitated Blacks voice.

Dorcas just rolled her eyes and sat down by the Gryffindor table, dragging Alice and me down next to her. That's when I remembered the badge on my chest again.

"Oh, I almost forgot" I said and held it out for them to see "I got head girl"

This made them stare horrified at me.

"Lily Evans forgetting that she got head girl" Dorcas exclaimed dramatically gasping and putting a hand to her mouth.

"Who are you? And what have you done to our friend?" Alice put in.

"Her?" I grinned evilly "that's nothing to worry about I didn't hurt her… or at least I didn't kill her"

I started cackling like an evil hag and this made Alice stare worriedly at me while Dorcas relaxed and grinned. We burst out laughing while Alice frowned at us. I doubled over in laughter and clutched my jaw. It was hurting but I couldn't stop laughing. Dorcas seemed to have the same problem as she too massaged her jaw while laughing. Dumbledore walked up to the front of the hall when everybody had taken their seats. He as usual used the sonorous spell while pointing his wand at himself.

"Please quiet down everybody so that the sorting may begin" His voice echoed through the hall while everybody directed their focus on the headmaster. I was having a hard time trying to stop laughing, but at last I managed to pull it together. First years filled the front of the hall hand McGonagall placed the sorting hat on the stool in front of them. The hat as usual opened a gap and started singing.

_Long, short, old, young we're all loved,_

_Just wait, in a minute you'll be sorted,_

_To one of the four great houses,_

_Some will be in Gryffindor,_

_Where the brave and modest lives,_

_Or maybe you're a Hufflepuff,_

_Where love and friendship gives,_

_You could also be a Rawenclaw,_

_Where the smart and hard working goes,_

_But bear in mind if you're a Slytherin,_

_That you're wise and if you try, you're the one, who knows,_

_I'd like for all of you to remember,_

_We're all equal, now and forever,_

_And since I have nothing more to say,_

_Let the sorting begin_

When the hat went quiet once again the hall burst into applause but all settled down when McGonagall stepped to the front once again.

"When I call your name, you're to come up here and sit on the stool and when I place the hat on your head you'll be sorted"

She looked down at the list in her hands and called name after name. When everybody was sorted Dumbledore smilingly stood up.

"I hope you'll all enjoy your time at Hogwarts and for those of you who don't know" he said kindly his blue eyes twinkling "the forbidden forest, is forbidden"

I heard a few people snort while some chuckled.

"And this year's heads are…" he announced as Black slapped his hands on the table as a drum roll "Miss Evans and Mr Potter"

My friends were just about to clap when they heard Potters name. The hall went quiet and everybody turned to stare at my reaction. Everybody knew I hated the very ground that guy walked on. I stared in Potters direction and he was staring back with his usual stupid smirk on his face.

"Fine" I sighed and continued "Congratulations Potter"

I said the last part almost barking through gritted teeth. Slowly everybody clapped their hands again waiting for me to glare at Potter. But I just glared at my empty plate instead. My year is ruined; Potter just has to ruin everything! Why couldn't I get him away from me? Why can't he just go away? I mumbled death threats for the rest of the evening in the great hall while Alice hid behind Dorcas, afraid I might burst any second. When the plates then disappeared an hour or so later I stopped and focused on Dumbledore.

"Well, goodnight to all" he said "the prefects will show the first years to their dormitories, classes starts tomorrow"

McGonagall practically galloped down to Potter and me.

"I will show you where your dormitories are, so fallow me"

I could feel Potter staring at me but I didn't turn to stare back I just continued fallowing McGonagall until we reached a wall. Yes a wall, a totally normal wall but when McGonagall tapped three special bricks with her wand it wasn't just a wall anymore. It was a portrait, a portrait of a black and white dull looking maid.

"Password" she tonelessly asked.

"Chimaera" McGonagall said and the portrait swung open.

Then she turned around to look at us.

"Tomorrow you'll have to start planning Hogsmead trips and give the prefects their schedule" she took a pause to stare seriously at us "You will patrol the halls every night and look for students out of bed, I'm sure you'll come up with your own punishment to those who are out past curfew, your duties starts tomorrow, goodnight"

McGonagall hurried away as Potter and I stepped inside the common room. The room was covered in red and gold. The curtains were scarlet and the wall in front of them was red too, but the walls next to it were a light shade of yellow. Next to the opening there were two scarlet armchairs in front of a fireplace. I sighed and walked over to one of the doors on the opposite side of the room. I opened it and found a four-poster bed with red and gold sheets and a dark brown wardrobe in front of it. There was another door in the room that I suppose leads to the bathroom. I opened the door and found a shower and a mirror. I went to stand in front of the mirror. My hair was just as flaming red as I remember and my eyes the same green.

"Hey Evans" Potter said peeking into the room.

"What are you doing?" I exclaimed "this is a bathroom, I could've decided to take a shower and you just barge in here like you own the place"

"Now even if that'd be great, I mean you probably don't look so bad that way either" he said giving me a teasing smirk "You standing with a towel and a flustered face just as red as your hair" I flashed him a death threatening glare and he held his hands in the air in surrender "that still wasn't what I came for, I think you're in the wrong room"

I huffed and pushed past him and out of the room. I slowed down as I walked up to the other door and when I came in I found another four-poster bed also red and gold. But on the other side of the room there was a small table for studying but there stood a mirror there too so I guess that's for brushing my hair and stuff like that. I walked in to another bathroom and the walls were covered in flowers. Ugh… I noticed a bag next to the gigantic mirror and opened it to find makeup hairbrushes and perfume. I'm not the kind of girl to use beauty products and stuff like that but I just huffed and walked out of the bathroom. I found my trunk at the foot of the bed and started un-packing. I put my clothes in the wardrobe but chose a pair of pyjamas to sleep in. I took out my school bag with my school books in and put it on a chair. Then I changed clothes and collapsed on the bed and in a few seconds I was asleep.

**Here it is the second chapter I hope you liked it and rewievs are appreciated; I also want to thank Spider Radio and JumpThenFall for their rewievs thank you it warms my heart to know that you like the story ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 3**

What's that sound? It sounds like a duck, seriously Lily, a duck. No it has to be something else, but what? Oh well it stopped now.

"Good morning Lils!"

I literally fell out of bed in surprise, landing with my sheets over my head. What the… I thought as I removed the sheets.

"Dorcas, how did you get in here?" I asked confused.

"Oh that, I met Potter in the hall and he told me how to get in"

Of course that stupid git, if I get woken up every morning like this because of him, I'm going to hex him into oblivion. I started muttering plans on how to hurt him worst without using unforgivable curses. Dorcas took a step back and slowly moved her hand to her pocket where she kept her wand, just in case, you know.

"Okay Lils, lets just calm down a little, shall we" She said slowly never breaking eye contact.

"Whatever" I muttered and stood up to go to the bathroom "I'll be back in a minute"

I disappeared inside the bathroom and about ten to twenty minutes later I came out again, wearing the usual school robes. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and walked over to Dorcas and linked arms with her.

"Now we can go" I said and dragged her out of my room.

We arrived at the great hall a few minutes later and I started handing out timetables. I gave Potter some to hand out too, since I wasn't going to do all the work by myself and let him sit down and relax. It didn't take too much time from my breakfast time and ten minutes later I was sitting with my friends eating.

"Are ou oing o ry ou or he eam hi ear?" Dorcas asked Alice through a mouth full of food.

"Sweetie, if you want me to reply to whatever it was you said, you might want to swallow before you talk" Alice said teasingly.

I sniggered while Dorcas swallowed the large amount of food.

"I said" Dorcas repeated "Are you going to try out for the team this year?"

"Oh" Alice said and pulled on her thinking face "I suppose I could try"

Those small simple words caused Dorcas to smile widely and squeak in excitement.

"How bout you Lils" She said when she'd calmed down but the teasing tone in her voice showed that she was only joking.

"You know what I might tryout too" I said and shot her a smirk making her jaw drop.

"Are you sure you're Lily Evans" Alice said putting a hand to my head.

"I was the last time I checked"

"You, on a broom?" the blond exclaimed "now this I can't miss"

"Well, I might be great at flying" I said fake offended "what would you know"

She sniggered and continued eating like a pig.

"It's okay Lils" Alice reassured me "I believe in you"

"You don't have to" I laughed "I agree with the wolf lady over here" I gestured to Dorcas.

"You can't be _that_ bad"

"Oh but I am"

I wasn't exaggerating, I really was _that_ bad. When I got on a broom in first year, it flew away without me. Don't ask me how, it just did somehow. I'd never told Alice thou, since she didn't see it happen. But I did want to try something this year I wouldn't do normally, so why not. She gave me a did-something-happen look but I just shook my head for her to let it go. After breakfast I met up with Potter to decide Hogsmead visits. We met in our common room and sat down by the fire.

"Maybe… the twenty-fifth" I suggested.

"Hmm…" he looked through his calendar "No, Quidditch practise"

I sighed in desperation and started looking over the month of October once again.

"How bout the fourteenth"

"Eh… nope, the fourth years are having a class trip" I said and this time it was Potter who had to take a deep breath to calm down.

"Twenty-first"

"No"

"Twenty-eight"

"Nope"

"Twenty-ninth!" we exclaimed in unison.

We stared at each other for a while until I burst into laughter.

"I guess the twenty-ninth then" I said already writing it down in my own calendar.

"Yeah, now we only have to plan five more of them" he said grumpily.

I looked up at him, noticing that he didn't even show a hint of a smile or even one of his famous smirks. Why was he so down? I don't think I've ever seen him depressed at all.

"That'll just take a few minutes" I tried, waving it away.

"Or a few hours"

Goodness, did he have to be such a joy killer. He flipped through the pages and stopped at November. I did the same and I couldn't help but to grunt when I saw that the month was almost already full of activities.

"Fourth?" I started again.

"No"

We went on like this for another hour and then we'd finally finished.

"Good gracious god!" I exclaimed and stretched "Finished at last!"

I stood up and yawned.

"Later Evans" Potter said dully, walking past me and out of the room.

Wow, I just went through an hour and a half with him without him asking me out or flirting with me. What is this? Opposite day, anyway I have Charms in twenty minutes. I decided to go to the Gryffindor common room to find Dorcas, Alice is out with her boyfriend Frank. When I climbed in through the portrait hole a few people looked up while others didn't care. I scanned the room for Dorcas and found her in one of the armchairs with a book in her hands, and it wasn't a school book! I almost ran over to her.

"Are you reading?" I asked "For fun!"

"Read the title smarty-pants" she sniggered never letting the book go with her eyes.

I glanced at the front of the book and understood why she was laughing. The title read_ Aliens that loves dogs_. I let out an amused huff myself before sitting down on the sofa next to her. Of course Dorcas wouldn't read any serious books and when I looked over her shoulder I only saw pages full of pictures. It wouldn't surprise me if it was a children's book.

"Where were you for the last one and a half hour by the way?" she asked me from her place in the armchair.

"Planning Hogsmead visits with Potter" I answered easily.

"You're going together! she exclaimed finally putting down the book to look me in the face.

"No!" I said putting my hands up for her to calm down "We're heads remember"

She let out a relieved sigh.

"Good" she said returning to her book "Because you and Potter dating would be the weirdest thing ever"

"Eh…yeah" I agreed.

Right then the raven haired boy came down the boy's staircase with Black, Peter and Remus, and for some reason Black shot her a glare and walked away with the rest of the marauders. What was that about? Did I do something? Wait, why do I even care? I shook my head and focused on a magazine on the table instead. I only looked up when I heard the portrait close. Stop caring Lily, I told myself and closed my eyes to just relax for a moment. Right, charms, I better go now so I won't be late. I picked up my book bag and moved towards the portrait hole.

"Are you coming?" I asked Dorcas.

"Yeah, sure I'll be there in a second"

"Okay"

**Third chapter is up and I hope you enjoyed it ;) Rewievs are appreciated and I want to thank those of you who have rewieved so far and I'll be back with more soon**


	4. Charms and Fights

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 4 **

I was walking down the halls to charms class when I heard voices.

"Just forget her Prongs" one voice which I assume to be Black said "You've chased her for seven years it's time to give up"

There was a small grunt in response and hurried steps where heard and then it was quiet again. I guess they left, so I continued walking not expecting to see Potter standing outside the classroom with his arms crossed over his chest while he stared at the ground. I acted as if I hadn't seen him and tried to walk past him unnoticed. But this just wasn't my day.

"How much did you hear Evans?" he asked me, lightly grabbing my arm.

"What?" I acted as if I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Don't play stupid" he said "I know you where listening"

"Have you put a transmitter on me or something?" I asked looking over my robes.

"No, I'm not a stalker Evans" at this I laughed humourlessly.

"Sure you're not" I said and shook him off of me.

I entered the classroom and sat down on the left side of the classroom. I didn't look up when Potter entered the classroom sitting down on the opposite side of me. He was as far away from me as he could get, he'd never listened to his friends before when they'd told him to get over me, so why now? A minute later Dorcas came and sat down next to me.

"Hi Lils"

"Hello Dorcas"

I said, taking my books out of my bag and putting them on my table. At the same time, Professor Flitwick climbed up on his pile of books and cleared his throat.

"Today class we'll be working on the cheering charm, so pair into groups and start practicing"

Of course Dorcas and I decided to work together. We started practicing and soon I had mastered the cheering charm while Dorcas still hadn't succeeded even once. But since I had cast the charm on her she wasn't irritated about failing.

"Wonderful work Miss Evans!" Professor Flitwick squeaked "Maybe you should switch partner with Mr Black"

Black hadn't succeeded either but Potter seemed to be doing well. I looked over at Dorcas to see that her cheerfulness was wearing off and her happy smile turned into a pout. I sighed and changed partners with Black. Potter frowned when I came over and crossed his arms.

"You certainly look like you need a cheering charm" I teased, but he didn't even snort or reply at all for that matter.

"Fine, don't say anything" I said, growing tired of his attitude.

He huffed and directed his wand at me, muttering the spell and a second later I was smiling. I did the same to him and then we both just stood there smiling.

"You know if I weren't happy" I said "I would ignore you"

There was no dull, irritated or mean tone in my voice. Instead I sounded happy and I felt it too.

"Yeah me too" he laughed in reply "Then we're thinking the same thing, cool"

Yeah that is cool! What fun we're having. He looks really kind when he smiles like that. His face lights up and he king of glows with happiness. And he isn't even playing with his hair.

"That's a nice look on you" I told him.

"What?" he asked but didn't stop smiling.

"The look of happiness, it fits you"

"Thanks it's nice to see that you like some side of me" he admitted.

Only one side, I thought in agreement.

"What should we do now?" I asked since we'd completed the spell.

"I don't know, why don't we ask"

I nodded and walked up to the Professor.

"We are done" I announced.

"Then you can sit down and wait for the others"

"Okay"

I walked back to Potter.

"We're supposed to sit and wait"

"Okay" he said and sat down, starting to pat the seat next to him.

Why not, I thought and sat down.

"You're a lot more fun when you're not chasing me around all day" I said.

"Well Evans, you should know that I only chase what's worth chasing"

For the first time in my life I giggled at his cheesy compliment.

"Don't make me blush" I said, playfully hitting his arm.

"But you look so cute when you do"

Now I was blushing. We didn't care about the rest of the class that had stopped practicing to see this once in a life time conversation between the two of us. Just the, Snape walked past and _accidentally _pushed Potter so that he fell.

"Sorry Potter" Snape grinned and continued on his way.

Potter glared at Snape when he was starting to turn back to normal, and so did I. What had I just said? I blushed even harder and stood up to leave. But Potter caught my arm.

"As I said" he smirked "You do look cute when you blush"

No! He's smirking again. That wasn't what I wanted. Ugh… stupid James Potter and his annoying smirk. I groaned, broke free from his grip and stomped away. I sat down and watched Dorcas and Black train. After another twenty minutes they'd both succeeded and where too smiling and laughing. Well now I'm not the only one.

"I think that's enough for today" Professor Flitwick announced and everyone stood up to leave. I put my books in my bag and left with Dorcas.

"That was a really fun lesson" Dorcas glowed and threw her hands in the air.

"Yeah, I guess" I chuckle watching Dorcas twirl around as she walked.

I've never seen her like this; I'm so going to teas her about this later. I snickered under my breath, but I stopped when I saw a pair of dark eyes watching me. It was Snape. I turned my gaze in another direction only to find another pair of eyes on me. Green eyes connected with dark grey ones until someone stepped between them. I snapped back to reality to find Black glaring at me with a frowning Potter behind him. I shot him a small smile and continued walking. Why did I smile? I could've just ignored them, but no. When he finally seemed to be leaving me alone, I just have to go and encourage him. God Lily, can't you at least try to use your brain? I asked myself as I ignored Dorcas constant blabbering about how beautiful everything looked today.

"Hey Lily" a kind happy voice said next to me.

I looked up into Remus face and smiled.

"Hey Remus, why aren't you with Potter and Black?"

"They're fighting" he said his expression growing dark and worried.

"About?" I asked even thou I think I already know.

"Oh, nothing important" he answered quickly, almost too quickly.

"Really… okay" I said slowly and searched his face, finding his eyes blinking nervously.

Dorcas then came stomping over. It seemed she'd turned back to normal and she was frowning at the two of us.

"Please just forget that ever happened" she pleaded.

"Sure" we said in unison grinning at her.

"You're never going to are you?" she groaned.

We shook our heads and snickered.

"Eight years James!" they heard Blacks voice growl as they turned around "Shouldn't that be enough!"

I heard Remus mutter under his breath.

"I guess I'll see you later Lily" he said running towards his friends.

He put a hand on Blacks shoulder to calm him down but he just shook it off and hurriedly walked away from them. Potter started walking the other way with Remus next to him.

"He'll get over it" I caught Remus saying.

I decided not to interfere since that would probably make matters worse.

**Chapter 4 is now officially up! Thanks to everyone who has rewieved I really appreciate it and I shall update soon, it would be nice if you rewieved and told me what you think, but remember that you don't _have_ to. Have a nice day ;)**


	5. Love letters and dates

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… and you all know this because… I've said it a million times**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 5**

Why does Black suddenly care? Potter has always chased me, what has changed? At the beginning of the year everything was as it used to be, but now… I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. Thou I have a feeling things are about to change. And was I right or what… The fallowing days Potter seemed decent and yet there was always a far away look in his eyes. He stopped playing with his hair all the time and his smirk wasn't something he used every minute of every day. Actually it was very rare to see him smirk. Around me he seemed emotionless, but with anyone but me he laughed and chatted easily. It's obvious he's trying to ignore me. Not that I mind but… now he seems perfectly normal, and I've never talked normally to him and now I think Dorcas is falling for him. My world has been turned upside-down. Now a day it wouldn't surprise me if McGonagall would let us skip class unpunished. I don't miss Potter and I think I can finally date freely. I've kind of got my eye on someone but now, when I actually can date without anyone standing in my way, I'm afraid to ask him out. Sure it was easy before, when I expected them all to cancel. This one thou, I really like. His sandy blonde hair and grey eyes has recently made me nervous for some reason every time I see him.

His name is Remus Lupin.

**James POV**

"So… Prongs"

"Yeah"

"Got a date for Hogsmead yet?"

I glanced at my friend with a confused look and the directed my attention to the paper in my hands again.

"No" I said with a tone that showed I didn't care.

"How if I may ask, can you not have a date when there are thousands of owls with love letters for you every minute?"

I sighed and chuckled a little before once again turning to my friend, this time putting down one of the said letters.

"I don't want just anyone Padfoot" I explained.

"_Of course you don't_" Sirius snorted "You want _Evans_"

I shot a glare at him and gritted my teeth; _if he starts again I swear I'll…_

"No, I've given up on Evans _remember_" I said on the edge of screaming.

He'd bothered me with his rambling about how I should give up for weeks now. If I even mention a girl he'd be back on the case. I really have given up on her; she'll never like me so I'm trying to look for someone else. But I can't seem to find anyone like her, and so I don't have a date.

"Good, because I'm tires of telling you to give up on her"

"And you don't think I am!"

"I have been saying it a lot haven't I" He sniggered, nudging me in the side.

"A lot is an understatement" I agree.

"Fine, I'll stop bothering you about it"

_Yes! Finally! _I had to mentally slap myself so that I wouldn't jump up and hug him. Seriously, he'd been bothering me as hell.

"Thanks mate" I grinned.

"Hello Prongs, Padfoot" Remus exclaimed entering the room.

"Hey Moony" I smiled starting to look through the letter again.

"Who's that one from?"

"I don't know, there's no name"

I turned the paper over but there was nothing there either.

"I'll figure it out" Sirius smirked snatching it from my hands.

"_Dear James_" he started in a girly voice "_If it's not too much to ask, will you go to Hogsmead with me?_"

He turned the paper over and stared confused at it then he looked up at me again.

"That's all?" He asked, I just nodded in response "Mate, you've been staring at this for hours and that's all it says! Unbelievable"

He muttered something under his breath and gave back the letter.

"Sorry to disappoint you" I laughed and put away the letter, only to receive another one.

"Great! This one better be longer" Sirius took the letter from the owl and tore it open.

"_I have to say Prongsie, may I call you Prongsie?_" He sniggered and continued reading "_It's just I've heard Sirius call you Prongsie so… Anyway, I wanted to ask you to Hogsmead…_" Sirius stopped reading and stood paralyzed by the window with the letter in his hands, mouth hanging open.

"What is it?" I asked walking over to him, grabbing the letter in the progress.

_Bloody hell!_ I stared at the letter with and expression matching Sirius's.

"What can be so chocking to make even _you _speechless Prongs" Remus said taking the letter out of my hands.

"Hugs Dorcas…" His eyes widened in understanding "Ooh… that is chocking"

"No really?" Sirius said.

"Eh… eh…" I tried but I was in chock.

Well I was in chock until Sirius smacked me in the head.

"That hurt!" I exclaimed putting a hand to my head.

"But you can talk again" he smirked.

"Oh… yeah your right" I said "I can't believe Dorcas wrote that"

"We can't believe it either mate" Sirius said "She even made Moony look stupid"

They laughed at a pouting Remus and Sirius playfully patted him on the back.

"Yeah, you don't see that everyday" I agreed.

I then put my arms around them and smirked.

"So… dinner sounds good"

"Yeah, and then we can sneak out of the castle" Sirius put in "That'd be fun, right"

I nodded in agreement while Remus hesitated before giving in.

"Fine, should we tell Peter?"

"Nah, not this time" Sirius grinned.

"Why?"

"Well, I just have a feeling that he's busy with something"

Now that I think about it, Sirius might be right. Peter certainly has been acting very secretively lately. I don't know what it is, but he doesn't seem to be interested in anything we do anymore. He always says that he has homework or something like that when they ask him to come with them somewhere. Oh well, I guess it's just Padfoot, Moony and me then.

"I know what you mean" I said with a hint of dullness in my voice.

"Mm…" Remus said distracted.

"Lets go then" I suggested and we made our way through the corridors down to the great hall.

I could feel Dorcas eyes on me the whole time. She's starting to scare me, I could feel her eyes burning holes in my neck and I grew more nervous every second, but about what? I don't know, _just ignore her James_. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and returned to the conversation with Remus and Sirius.

"I expect you already have a date then Sirius?" Remus was asking him.

"Of course I do, Moony dearest" Sirius gave the, both a triumphant smile.

I rolled my eyes as they continued talking about Hogsmead. Is that the only thing Sirius can talk about today? Wait a minute; does it have anything to do with his date? He never said who his date is.

"Who are you taking anyway?" I asked.

Sirius face paled a little and for one second I could see a look of worry on his face.

"Eh… she wanted me to keep it a secret"

"Tell us anyway" Remus said "You've never cared before"

"No! I really can't tell you"

Remus seemed to be thinking about something and then he gaped at him.

"No…"

"What?" I asked not understanding.

"You… you have a date with…" Remus glanced at me before continuing "Lily"

**Ha ha, DRAMATIC MOMENT! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well and I've decided to update every Sunday, starting today. Rewievs are appreciated and I want to thank you who've rewieved for your support. Have a good evening ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter; you should know that by now ;)**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 6**

"_No…" "What?" "You… you have a date with… Lily"_

I ran away after I'd worked out what Remus had said. I don't know why, something just snapped in me when I heard those words. For six years I've been asking her out and now… when I've given up on her. Sirius and Lily, beautiful Lily with flaming red hair like fire and green glittering emerald eyes that makes me melt every time they meet mine. With her laugh that sounds like a bell, a bell that keeps ringing in my head even when she has stopped laughing. Every time she's happy her eyes glows like a child on their birthday. When she walks her hair happily bounce with every step. And now… she's out of my reach. Beautiful Lily with Sirius, the one who's betrayed me. He knows I'll never fully get over her and yet, he has the nerve to ask her out. I buried my face in my pillow and let out a strangled cry. Why me? There's no way I'll get together with her now. Of course I wasn't planning on getting together with her anyway. I've given up on her. _You don't need her. You don't need her. You don't need her. _I repeated in my head. _Why… Why…_

**Lilys POV**

"Dorcas… Earth is calling Dorcas, can you hear me?"

I've tried to make her listen to me for hours now but she's too busy staring at Potter. Suddenly she gasps as the boy comes storming past us. What's wrong with him? I watched him disappear behind a corner then I turned to look at his friends.

"You just had to say it!" Black said slapping the back of Remus head.

"Hey! It's not my fault you decided not to tell him about Lily!"

Oh… so that's what this is about. My date with Sirius, it seems to have an opposite effect than I hoped for. I wanted Remus to be the jealous one, not Potter. I groaned inwards and started trying to get Dorcas to listen to me again.

"Dorcas" I started again, and this time she looked at me in response.

"Finally, I've been trying to contact you the past few hours"

She just stared at me.

"What?"

"You have a date with Black?"

Well that would explain the confused look.

"Yes but there's a reason" I defended.

"Wow Lily, I would understand if you chose Remus, but Sirius?" She said amazed.

"I can explain" I said "I'm doing it to get Remus jealous but it seems like it isn't working so well" I finished staring at my feet.

"Oh, now I understand" she smirked "But isn't that mean to Sirius?"

"Believe me Dorcas, that boy has toyed around with a lot of girls so I really don't care"

She seemed to be thinking about something before slowly starting to nod.

"I guess you're right"

Of course I am! Every Friday he takes a girl by the hand and leads her out of the common room. I don't see it anymore, since I've got my own common room but I'm pretty sure he's still doing it. And to think that every one of those girls just goes along with it, knowing what will happen! Or at least I think they know, but I don't care as long as it's not me. I really petty the girl that has to go to Hogsmead with… Wait! That's me… oh no. What have I gotten myself into? I'm doomed, my life is officially over. Why did _Sirius Black_ have to be one of Remus best friends? Sure, I could've chosen Potter but that would've been an even greater disaster. He just had to be one of the marauders. Ugh… can't I be sick that day or something? I was brought back to the world by Dorcas waving her hand in front of my face.

"Hello, now you're the one spacing out on me" she said, putting her hands to her hips.

"Sorry" I replied half-heartedly.

"Whatever" she rolled her eyes and began searching, probably for Alice.

"What was it you wanted to say?" I wondered.

She had tried to get me out of my _thinking zone _after all.

"Oh yeah, Quidditch try-outs are tomorrow" she said excitedly.

My face fell. Right I said I would try out. This might not be the best time to tell her I'm afraid of heights. I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of everyone. How come I'm always the one who comes up with the worst ideas? I don't think I'll be alive by the time the school year ends.

"Great" I mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Alice so that I can tell her too"

Ha! I was right. Right then the said person came rushing towards us.

"Hey you guys, Quidditch try-outs are tomorrow!" she exclaimed hooking arms with us.

"Aw… I wanted to tell you that" Dorcas pouted.

"You can still tell me"

The blonds face lit up once again and she turned to look right at her.

"There you are, Alice I've got great news for you!"

"Really, what is it?"

"Quidditch try-outs are tomorrow!"

They squeaked and started jumping. Ah… my friends, always the same old Dorcas and Alice. Just the way I want it. I laughed at them and sighed. I hope they'll keep being their weird and wonderful selves.

"What'll you be trying out for Lils?" the brunette asked me.

"Um… I haven't really thought about it but I guess I'll try out for beater maybe"

Both of them raised their eyebrows at me with identical questioning looks on their faces.

"Beater, that's probably the last thing I thought you'd say" Dorcas began "But I guess it could work"

I hope so, I feel like there's too much responsibility in being seeker or keeper and I don't feel like a chaser. So that only leaves one position. Thou I doubt I'll make the team.

"Yeah, I thought so too"

"Well, we'll see" Alice said slowly.

Now we'd reached my common room and I said my goodbyes before climbing through the portrait hole. I said a quick hello to Potter who was sitting in the couch only to receive silence.

"I said hello" I repeated.

He grunted not even bothering to look up from his book. I snorted and went to my room instead. Since when has Potter been so interested in books? I bet it's just an excuse so that he doesn't have to talk to me. How mature of him, being childish and ignoring me instead of trying to work it out. I should be used to this by now, but this time it just feels different. My feelings towards him haven't changed but for some reason he makes me even more furious ignoring me than stalking me. _Why do you even care Lily? Wouldn't it just be easier to ignore him back? No Lily! Be the bigger person and just act like normal. _Yep that'd be better than to sink to his level. Although I'm not sure I can stand his way of acting for the rest of the year. It's time to get some sleep anyway so I'll let this go for tonight. I went to bed after brushing my teeth and putting on night wear. It wasn't easy to sleep thou since I'd be waking up the next morning to my alarm clock knowing that a really bad day had just started. Tomorrow I'd meet my doom on the Quidditch field.

**James POV**

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch

"OUCH!" I screamed at Sirius who was hitting me with a pillow.

"Just trying to wake you up" he grinned.

Who does he think he is? Does he really think I've forgiven him for yesterday?

"Just get out" I shot a glare at him.

"Ooh, a morning glare from Prongs"

What's wrong with him?

"Just. Get. Out" I stood up and started furiously pushing him out of the room.

Finally I opened the door and him by the neck and practically threw him out of the room. In the common room a certain redhead stood staring tiredly at the two of us.

"If you don't want to wake the whole school I suggest you keep it down" And with that she left.

"Sorry for disturbing you, I'm embarrassed to say this but… I'd forgotten about yesterday, bye"

He's got to be kidding me! He wakes me up rudely, forgets about our fight and follows Lily when he suddenly remembers about the fight. He just chose a girl over me! His best friend for eight years!

"You're a bloody bastard you know that!" I burst at him throwing the door closed behind him. I can't believe he chose her in front of me! I can't believe he's going on a date with her! And most of all, I can't believe _she _just goes along with _him_. She has always hated the two of us. She doesn't care about Peter and just likes studying with Remus. I hate my life. My best friend left me for a girl that has always hated him. I hate him. I hate her, I hate myself and… _knock, knock, knock. _If that's him I swear I'm going to…

"Prongs please let me in" said the pleading voice of Sirius Black.

I didn't answer. I don't feel like talking to him. Not now, not ever. He can go out with Lily, I couldn't care less.

"Prongs, at least answer"

I sighed in frustration before going to the door.

"Yes"

"Please let me in, we need to talk"

"I can talk fine here"

"Yeah well I can't so let me in" He said again.

I put my hand on the doorknob and hesitated before opening the squeaking door. To my surprise Sirius immediately pulled me into a hug.

"Eh… Sirius" I started confused.

"I'm sorry alright" He said stubbornly "If it means so much to you I won't go out with her"

Sirius has never hugged me like this. But I can't deny him a date with Lily. I just can't, that'd make me the worst friend ever.

"No, you go on the date" I said in barely more than a whisper.

"You sure"

I nodded and put on a fake smile.

"It doesn't feel too good but I'll let you have her"

Inside I was breaking but on the outside I tried my hardest to cover up my despair. Sirius gave me a weird look before nodding.

"Okay" He didn't seem pleased but what's said is said.

"So Quidditch then" I said not waiting for an answer and started walking with Sirius behind me.

**Next up Quidditch! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I want to thank you all for the wonderful rewievs, they're much appreciated. Have a good evening ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… I'm serious**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 7**

**Lilys POV**

The grass was fresh and green as I marched towards the Quidditch pitch. The sky was clear and the sun felt warm on my back. Even if cool breezes hit my face over and over again I didn't feel any better. I could see the Quidditch pitch grow closer and my courage sank with every step I took. When I arrived I felt like throwing up.

"There you are" Alice ran up to me "I've been waiting for you, what took you so long?"

I sighed and looked tiredly at her.

"I don't feel so good"

"Rubbish, you're just nervous"

That's true but I still don't want to be here.

"Yeah you're probably right"

"Well come on then"

She took me by the arm and gave me a broom.

"Potter's the captain so just try to impress him"

I groaned, I'm supposed to impress Potter? He probably won't even look at me.

"Okay everyone; I want you all up in the air"

Everyone around me mounted their brooms and rise up in the air. I had mounted my broom too but I didn't dare to let go of the ground.

"You too Evans" Potter said emotionlessly.

I didn't look at him but I felt my anger rising.

"If you want to be on the team, you actually have to fly"

"I'm not stupid Potter" I felt my voice quiver.

_If you start crying Lily, _I threatened myself.

"Then why aren't you already up there?" he started again but this time a little kinder.

"It's nothing"

He wasn't convinced by this and walked up to me.

"If it was nothing you wouldn't be on the ground right now, what's wrong?"

I took a deep breath and tried staring into his eyes, but soon looked away again.

"I'm afraid of heights" I whispered, staring at my feet.

"Excuse me? You're afraid of what?" he asked amazed.

"Heights, I said heights!"

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I don't know" I admitted feeling stupid.

"Come on then"

I stared at him confused.

"Here" he said taking my hands in his "hold it like this"

He adjusted my hold on the broom.

"Then you just kick off the ground and hold on tight"

I looked up at the sky and hesitated.

"Go on" he smiled encouraging at me.

My feet left the ground and I squealed, shutting my eyes.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you"

I opened my eyes again to see him next to me on his own broom.

"As a beater you'll need your eyes"

"I can't fly"

"Then it's about time to learn"

I gave him an uncertain look and sighed deeply.

"It'll follow your movements; if you lean to the left the broom will do it too"

I nodded and followed his instructions.

"That's too much"

"Sorry"

"Do you really want to be on the team?"

"Honestly I don't care anymore"

"Then I'll let you go"

I looked down and took a tighter grip on the broom.

"Come here" he said putting an arm around my back "I'll help you down"

I shut my eyes again and felt Potter lead me down to the ground again. I felt my feet touch the grass and jumped off of my broom. I heard Potter laugh behind me.

"Eh…" I turned around to look at him.

"Thank you Potter"

"Call me James, Lily"

I felt a slight tingle in my stomach when he said my name. From his lips it sounded so beautiful, nice and peaceful.

"James" I smiled.

_Pull it together Lily; he's been horrible to you every day the past six years. _I reminded myself and gave him one last look and put down the broom and walked back to the castle. Even when I reached the portrait with the dull looking maid I still heard his voice inside my head, repeating my name. How could one person make a name sound so beautiful? I still don't like him at all. Really, I don't.

**James POV**

"James" she said so carefully that it sounded graceful.

Then she hurried away without saying anything else. Had we just been nice to one another? Were we still not at least friends? I'll let it go for now, I have to choose a team for the year. Sirius as usual is the best chaser with Dorcas and John. Alice is a good keeper and Arthur and Ray fit as beaters. I am the seeker just like the years before.

"That's all, you can go now" I announced "The list will be put up tomorrow in the common room"

"So" Sirius grinned, flying towards me as everyone else left.

"So" I replied "You're on the team this year too"

I grinned and nudged him in the side.

"I expect nothing more, nothing less"

We went to change and then we walked back up to the castle with Remus and Peter.

"How does the team look this year" Remus asked.

"Awesome, we're going to beat the other houses so bad" I said confidentially.

"Who are my fellow chasers?"

"Dorcas and John"

"Great" he smiled.

"And the beaters are?"

"Ray and Arthur"

Peter opened his mouth to say something but I already knew the answer.

"Alice, and I as usual am the one, the only, Gryffindor seeker"

I put on a pompous grin and put my nose in the air. Sirius sniggered and playfully pushed me. I departed from the others in the entrance hall and made my way through the corridors to my common room. I mumbled a quick Chimaera to the dull maid and stepped inside.

"Hello" I said quietly to Lily who was sitting in an armchair and then continued on my way.

"So now you talk to me" she said with a slight glare.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Nothing" she sighed back.

"No Evans that was something"

"Fine, I said" she cleared her throat "So now you talk to me?"

"Yes…" I said slowly, not understanding where this conversation was going.

"Well you've ignored me for the past few weeks and then you just decide to start talking again? You know you can't play around with me whenever you please and then just go back to normal for no reason at all"

I just stared at her with my mouth hanging open.

"Is that the thanks I get for helping you out today?"

She stood up and angrily walked over to me, apparently that was not the right thing to say.

"Do you really think that if you helped me this once I'd forget about your childish actions towards me?"

"Yes…?" I hesitated and when she gave me a disgusted look I quickly continued "NO!"

"You're just the same as always" she grumbled and turned on her heal and stomped into her room slamming the door shut behind her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shouted at her through her closed and apparently locked door.

She said that as if it was a bad thing.

**That's the seventh chapter and I hope you enjoyed it. Rewievs are appreciated and I just want to thank all of you who have rewieved so far, it keeps me writing and I appreciate if you'd tell me if I spell anything wrong or if I use one word too much or… you know, stuff like that. Have a good evening ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter… But you knew that**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 8**

**Lilys POV**

I growled tiredly and kicked my four-poster bed, before throwing myself on it and burying my face in my scarlet pillow. Why did something he does suddenly make me frustrated? I felt like he didn't care about my feelings. He can't just expect me to go along with it. Stupid, stupid Potter, _just ignore him Lily, _I told myself. I let out a frustrated cry, silenced by the pillow against my face. There was a knock on the door followed by the voice of Alice.

"Lily, are you in there?" Alice called through the door.

I groaned and opened the door to let her in.

"Hey" she said with a small uncertain smile.

I wanted nothing more than to glare at her for interrupting my angry moment, but I couldn't when I saw the worrying look she wore.

"What do you want?" I asked tiredly as I sat down on my bed again.

She hesitated before joining me. She started staring at the wall in front of us, trying to ignore my gaze.

"Well I was going to ask you how you felt because you left the pitch early and then I met James in the way in and…" She said it all very quickly and to me it was all in a blur "I became unsure whether I should talk to you since it seems you two have been fighting or if I should just go down to the great hall because you probably needed some time alone…"

"But you decided that you weren't that nice of a friend so you came in anyway" I sighed dramatically and gave her a teasing look that made her snort.

"No…" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world "I decided that I'd keep you company and help you sort out the things that you need to sort out"

I lay back down on the bed and stared at the sealing and began explaining.

"First of all, I left the pitch early because I'm afraid of heights and I couldn't deal with it…"

"And you just happen to remember that when you actually take a hold of the broom?" Alice interrupted, amused.

"No but I couldn't bring myself to tell you" I admitted "Second of all, I started arguing with James because he just started talking to me again as if nothing had happened and I feel like he thinks I'm just a toy that he can play with when he feels like it" I took a deep breath "And I feel like he doesn't care, I'm just the Lily Evans he chased for six years and then ignored and then he just chose to act as if nothing has happened!"

Alice just sat staring at me with her mouth hanging open and after a few seconds she once again remembered how to talk.

"That was quite a lot of words"

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Thanks for the help"

I admit that I had just blurted it all out and I probably have to repeat it if she is to understand anything I just said.

"You sure you don't have any feelings for him?" she asked me.

I shot back into sitting position and coughed.

"WHAT! NO!" I exclaimed staring at her as if she'd gone mad "are you feeling well?" I asked her, putting a hand to her forehead.

"I'm feline fine" she insisted, shaking off my hand "are you?"

She said this so seriously that it surprised me. Her question actually left me speechless.

"It doesn't seem like you don't care about him"

"He might be something to me" I admitted "but I don't have any feelings for him"

"Okay, if you say so" she sighed, standing up.

"It is so" I replied stubbornly.

"Sure" she said half-heartedly.

I broke eye contact and stared at my feet_. _NowI don't even know for sure.

"When you've figured out what you actually feel for him, you know where to find me"

She said and walked out without another glance. There's no way I feel something for Potter. I just can't have feelings for him. And he's over me so there's no chance he'll want me anyway.Before, this would've made me happy but now I felt a tinge of sadness. Why does this suddenly upset me? _I can't be falling for him! I can't…_

**James POV**

_Forget about it James, _I tried to tell myself as I made my way outside. _You don't like her anymore! _I mentally slapped myself as I found a quiet place under a tree. But if I don't like her anymore than why am I so upset about the way she's acting towards me? _You bloody well know why, _a voice inside my head told me, _you're still in love with her. _Ugh! Why am I saying this to myself? Wait, I've never actually _loved _her have I? No, I just fancy her, but I don't _love _her. Love is such a strong word; I don't think I can use it to explain my feelings for her. I leaned back against the tree and got lost in the glittering water.

"_Lily_" I whispered to myself, smiling.

"What did you say mate?" Sirius asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"What? Oh, nothing, hi guys" I jumped in surprise and looked back at my three fellow marauders.

"James?" Remus asked.

"Yeah" I replied half-heartedly.

"Sirius over here" he said gesturing to the black haired Gryffindor "has a plan for Hogsmead"

Remus didn't seem so comfortable while announcing this and I remembered who Sirius is taking.

"Okay…"

"Yes mate, it is brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed proudly.

"And it is?" I asked loosing my patience.

"A double date and if Remus or… Peter" he tried to hold himself from laughing when he mentioned Peter "It can be a triple date!"

I frowned but when Sirius was putting on a worried face I pretended to be happy.

"That's a great idea Padfoot" I faked a grin.

"I knew you'd think so!" he exclaimed once again "So you better get a date"

I watched them walk away again and let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding when they were out of eye sight. Who would I bring? I wanted to go with Lily. Something squirmed in my stomach when I thought about her and Sirius's date. I'll find someone nice and take her as a friend. But first there's quidditch practice tomorrow. I spent the rest of the afternoon watching the sunset and when it disappeared behind the trees I made my way inside.

"James, wait up!" Remus called after me when I was about to say the password to the maid.

I turned in his direction to see him running.

"I… just… wanted… to…" Remus said panting.

"Breath Moony, breath" I grinned at him.

When he had caught his breath and was back to breathing normally her smiled before starting again.

"I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you mate, Sirius taking Lily to Hogsmead and all that"

"Oh" I said looking back at the maid and whispering the password "I'm fine really, and I already have a date so…"

I know its wrong lying but… what can I do? I'm not going to show myself as weak.

"Oh" he said surprised "okay"

And so, he walked away without another word. I feel a little guilty because I might have made him embarrassed; he was just trying to be a good friend after all. I went to bed early and the night was nice and peaceful, nothing disturbed my sleep and I woke to yet another _glorious _day. I had planned Quidditch practice and then I had patrolling with Lil… I mean Evans. And the first thing I saw when I stepped out from my room this morning was her, she ignored me and pretended to not even notice when I came up next to her and practically screamed in her ear.

"I said…" I repeated for what felt like the hundredth time "GOOD MORNING EVANS!"

She didn't even wince or glance at me. Nothing, she gave me nothing. Not even a "Move your arse Potter". I sighed and started mumbling death threats as I made my way to the great hall. I sat down in between Remus and Sirius.

"Good morning Prongsie" Sirius said happily "practice after breakfast then"

"I guess so"

"Hey, who stole your cookie?"

"Evans"

Sirius just laughed and for some reason Remus blushed.

I got through breakfast by sitting and picking at my food while frowning at Sirius laughing loudly. When we finally mounted our brooms later I was relaxed by the air running through my hair. The sun was warm on my back and I enjoyed every minute on my broom. Training went well since I had after all picked the best people to be in the team. Alice caught every shot and the rest of them played like a real team. This is the way the team looked last year and I was happy to say that I was the leader.

"Go Alice!" I heard Dorcas yell from the stands.

She wasn't training with them since madam Pomfrey would kill me if she saw her in the air. She'd sprained her ankle and was too much of a wimp to let her mend it the magical way. And guess who else was there, oh yes, Lily Evans. Dorcas noticed that I was looking their way and put out one hand to wave at me. While doing this small movement she leaned forward and accidentally fell. There was a loud shriek and then she was hanging off the edge with only a few fingers holding her up.

"Look out!"

I shot through the air as fast as my broom allowed but by the time I was there she fell. I swooped after her and managed to get a hold of her arm. I dragged her onboard of my broom and she sat there panting until we reached the ground.

"I'm so sorry" she exclaimed "I can't believe it, you saved me! I owe you one James"

"You don't have to" I insisted.

"You sure, I'll do anything"

"Anything"

I saw her eyes shrink and her mouth opened in horror.

**HA! There you have it, chapter 8. I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for the great rewievs, they're much appreciated I'll see you next week with more ;) Have a good afternoon **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 9**

**Dorcas POV**

Oh no… do I want to know what's going on in his mind? I expected him to say something so I just stood quiet.

"Go to Hogsmead with me" he grinned.

"What?" I said confused.

Was that all he wanted? His grey eyes twinkled with mischief and I love when they do that, just as much as I love when he plays with his hair when he's nervous.

"I mean, yeah sure" I offered the best smile I could after falling what felt like a hundred miles.

"Great! I'll tell you the rest of the plan there" he said and hurried after Sirius who declared that the practice was over for today.

Of course there's more to it, I thought as I hugged a worrying Lily.

"Are you okay?" she asked looking over me for any scratches from the fall.

"I'm fine, James got me right in time" I assured her.

Later in charms class, I was surprised to find myself staring at James, thinking about how cute he looked when he concentrated on his work. He bit his quill and sometimes drummed it against his cheek. When he wrote, the quill lightly swooped over the paper and left writing on it. He wasn't trying but he really looked good even then. And he's taking me to Hogsmead! I had to strain myself so that I wouldn't squeak. Instead I just fiddled with my fingers under the table and smiled at my own paper. But then, a feeling of worry filled me. What if he still likes Lily? _No silly! _I told myself. _He wouldn't have asked you if he did. _Yeah! This is my chance; she was never nice to him anyway. Why would he want someone that hates him? Maybe… maybe he likes me…

**Lilys POV**

I'm getting a headache. First, I'm going to Hogsmead with Black! Ugh… second, Dorcas is going with James? I knew she was developing a crush for him but I never thought he'd be after her. Sure Dorcas is a wonderful person but she doesn't seem like his type! Well… they both like Quidditch and they share the same favourite teams and favourite colours. Both still sleeps with teddy bears, don't ask me how I know that James does. Maybe they could be a pretty good match. He'll be off my case… that's good I guess. That thought should make me happy but instead I get filled with a sad feeling. I don't like him; he can have whoever he wants. I couldn't care less, still I just want to sit down and cry. I remember one time when he gave me a real smile, not one that he was using to get me to like him; I mean a smile that actually was a smile. Or one time when he actually laughed for real, I wish he would do those things more often. Now my stomach is turned inside out every time I think about him, his smile, his laugh, his eyes… Deep in thought, daydreaming, angry, confused, his eyes were always gleaming with something. He's always so full of life and dreams. He wants to be an auror and he seriously despise the ground the death eaters walk on, but who doesn't? Well Voldemort doesn't I guess but that doesn't count. He loves Quidditch but he told me that he isn't planning on making something out of it when he gets older. He is so down to earth and yet so up in the clouds. One time he can be all "I have to finish my homework first" and then he can turn into "eh whatever". He is a mystery that no one can solve, still he only give signs of himself when he's not being a bastard. He has told me about himself so many times that if I kept seeing him after Hogwarts I'm sure I'd be able to write a book all about him. No one gives much thought to who he is but I guess his friends know. All the girls like him for looks, I don't care for looks but there's still a feeling in me that tells me that he means something to me. He has changed, not in a way that's visible but I can defiantly see it now. He spaces out in classes and in meals. Sometimes he just leaves Black to keep talking and puts in an "m" or "yeah" in between sentences. I've found him glancing my way sometimes, he used to do it before too but now a day he wears a different expression. Worry, consideration, helplessness? I don't now, it's something but I can't seem to figure it out. I keep getting redder more often and there's a slight tingle in my stomach when he talks to me. I try to ignore it but how can you ignore something that keeps coming back whenever I look at the guy? Can it be? Am I really falling for him?

**James POV**

I have a plan, but for the first time in my life I can't tell Sirius about it. It's about Lily and he'd hate me if I told him it. He thinks she really likes him… she doesn't, does she? If she does then the plan won't work anyway. I like everything about her, Sirius can't come in between that right? I don't know what I'd do if she'd never laugh with me or throw me one of her comments every day or so. I just want her to care, I really do like her and if Sirius gets her then… I don't know! He wouldn't deserve her, I don't either but she deserves someone that really loves her and we all know how Sirius has totally failed to understand love. Love is a strong word but now that I think about it, I don't think I can leave Hogwarts without her by my side. So I have to do this, she has to realise that I don't just want her because she's the only girl in the school that doesn't fall by my feet. I want to always be able to see her flashing red hair and bright smile that makes my heart skip a beat. Her emotion is always so out there in her eyes. It's almost impossible to miss what she's thinking when you stare her in her eyes. I think so at least, maybe other people don't see it but I do, how the light in her eyes change. And even though most of the things she does hurts me, I know I'll never be able to forget her. She's taken a piece of my heart and permanently burned a picture in my mind. When I close my eyes, her emerald green eyes appear and gleam with happiness. I want to be the one to make her happy and I want her to be able to be herself around me. I feel a longing for one of her comments even if they feel like a kick in the stomach, it hurts but I hope that one day she'll say my name without thinking about it. That it'd just naturally slip her lips and she'd smile. I'd like for her not to be angry every time she sees me. Love is a strong word but I only use it when I mean it.

**Sirius POV**

"Moony can you help me choose clothes for my date tomorrow?" I asked my friend from inside the wardrobe.

"Who's your date?" my smart friend asks from the other side of the room.

"You already know, you were the one who was stupid enough to tell James" I felt my voice grow a little angrier.

"Oh sorry, I thought you cancelled for his sake" I heard him climb off his bed and start towards me.

"I was going to but he insisted on that I should go"

"Really…" I could almost hear his brain turning.

"Yeah now can you help me?" I pulled my head out of the closet and looked at him.

"Okay, why are you asking me?" he asks me as he starts looking through the closet "James is better at these things"

I frowned and stared embarrassedly at my feet.

"I didn't want to talk to him about the date, I feel like he only told me to go because he didn't want to fight"

"That's probably the reason"

"Hey! Where's the sympathy in that?"

"I wasn't trying to give you sympathy, I was telling the truth" he straitened himself and looked at me irritated "You can't ignore the truth just because you wish it wasn't so"

"You're no help at all" I grumbled furiously "I'll do this myself, just go back to your bed and continue being quiet, you helped more like that"

I could feel him sending a glare at me but ignored him. I ended up with a red shirt that matches Evans hair and a pair of black trousers.

"You've got to talk to him about it anyway since you're going on a double date"

"Yeah but I don't have to talk about Evans do I? And he has a date, he said so himself"

"Do you know who it is?"

"No, does it matter? As long as she keeps him away from Evans then it doesn't really matter"

He mumbled something I didn't catch before walking out of the room with his book in his hands. I rolled my eyes_" typical Remus" _and sat down on my bed and put on some music.

**Remus POV**

I can't believe he's being so selfish! She deserves better than that! He only cares for how she looks! I don't know about James but he seems to have gotten over it, I past him in the hall and he threw me one of his famous smirks. None of them really cares for her; she should go with someone who treats her better. I care for her! I wouldn't go out with her because she looks good! I'd go out with her because she's nice, smart, fun, kind, thoughtful and so much more. I could go on for days but I'm not going to because that would take to much time. I've got other things to do. But she truly is wonderful and brave. I'm sure she'd put her life on the line for the people she loves. I can't believe I'm actually starting to get jealous! I could care for her and love her, that's more than any of them could ever do. They're my best friends but they're really being ridiculous. I care for them too but it's all so unfair to Lily. She should be able to choose for herself but she chose Sirius so I think I'm going to have to help her. She is not going to date him; he isn't really one to take a relationship seriously, time to get a date.

**Lilys POV**

I groan into my pillow as my alarm clock goes off. I guess I have to get up, ugh… I reach out for the clock but only find an empty table. I slowly lift my head from my pillow to see a grinning Dorcas staring at me.

"Time to get up, Hogsmead today and we've got to get dressed"

"You know I would've gotten up myself even if you hadn't been holding my clock out of my reach, on that note, can you turn it off?"

I glared at her tiredly and she started laughing.

"I would've turned it off when you gave sign of life but I don't know how to"

I sighed and sat up as she gave me the clock and I turned it off.

"Great! Now go get dressed so we can leave" she was practically jumping in excitement and all I could do was roll my eyes and do what she'd told me to.

So I went to the bathroom after picking out an outfit, but when I came out again she shook her head in fake disappointment (I don't think she was able to calm down).

"That's what you're wearing for your date?" she asked me as she gestured to my light blue jeans and black t-shirt, that by-the-way was way too big.

"Yeah, so" I asked.

I didn't want to dress up for Black. Actually, I didn't want to go with Black at all so what's the deal with trying to look nice.

"I'm very disappointed in you Lils" she grinned while shaking her head "Come here, let me fix it"

She went over to my wardrobe and pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans and my favourite tank top (green with embroidered flowers in the edge). I sighed hopelessly, there's no reason to argue with her about it. I snatched my clothes from her hands and dragged myself into the bathroom again.

"Happy" I asked her when I came back out again.

"Not entirely" she said studying me "We have to do something with your hair"

She started towards me but I just backed away.

"No we don't!" I insisted.

"Yes we do" she said stubbornly.

I pouted as she made a braid out of my hair and put it over my shoulder.

"Now I'm happy" she smirked and dragged me out of the door.

We emerged in the common room where James and Black stood waiting. _Great_, I thought _he's wearing a shirt that matches my hair. _I rolled my eyes and went to stand in front of them with Dorcas by my side. Black studied me and suddenly blushed, which surprised me since he never blushes.

"Hi" Dorcas smiled and joined hands with James.

For some reason this made me angry so I reached out to hook my arm with Blacks.

"Shall we?" I asked him with a way to kind smile.

"Eh… yeah, sure"

We arrived in the great hall and after Filch had done his job, we got in a carriage. Black decided to be a gentleman and let the ladies step in first. When he sat down next to me I forced myself to scoot closer to him. Even though I don't like Black he was quite nice and didn't play bad boy. It feels weird but I think he's trying to be nice for once.

"We'll meet in the three broomsticks in an hour" Dorcas said and went with James to Zonkos. There's another thing they have in common, they both like Zonkos. I totally forgot about my own date as I stared after them until they disappeared into the shop. Was it jealousy? No, it couldn't be. Black cleared his throat behind me and I returned to earth.

"Sorry" I blushed.

"It's okay, where do you want to go first?"

He's asking me? I thought he'd just drag me wherever he wanted to go. Maybe this won't be so bad.

"**Cough" of course it won't "cough" Thank you for the rewievs and I'm so sorry for the late update. But I might not update as often anymore. I hope you don't mind, I really hope you keep reading. **


	10. The years first snowflake

**Disclaimer: as you might know by now, Idon't own Harry Potter**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 10**

We'd gone to Honeydukes first, only for me to get grossed out for the rest of the day by his sloppy candy eating. _Maybe we should've gone there last, _I thought as I held his sweaty hand while waiting for James and Dorcas. I just wanted to slap Black in the back of his head but decided not to since I was supposed to make James jealous. _Wait! Did I just think that? No, shake it off Lily! It was nothing…_ I watched Dorcas and James sit down in front of us in the three broomsticks and sighed inwards. The urge to hit her every time I saw her with him kept growing inside. _Can it be jealousy? _No, I'm sure it's not. He likes Dorcas, not me.

"I said hello" James repeated, breaking through my thoughts "or are you still ignoring me?"

A lump started building in my throat and I found myself unable to speak, so I just gave him a small nod as a greeting.

"Really, you're just going to remain silent? Now who's the child?"

He muttered the last thing and I felt myself go red.

"You…" I started dangerously.

"Whoa! Calm down Lils" Sirius said taking a hold of my arm as I stood up.

I didn't miss the smirk he sent James way and that was when it came to me.

"Is that why?" I laughed humourlessly "but now you have her so you don't see the point anymore"

"What?" he asked me.

They were all staring at me as if I had gone mad.

"You heard me" I said "I mean that you got mad when you heard that Sirius was taking me to Hogsmead so you decided to ignore me, but now you have Dorcas so it doesn't really matter anymore does it?" I exclaimed "You know James, you're really dense sometimes"

I practically hissed his name and stormed out of there. I had reached Zonkos when I noticed hot fresh tears stream down my cheeks. I furiously brushed them away with my sleeve but they kept coming. I started running again without knowing where to go. I almost ran into a couple of trees and finally stopped by the edge of the forest. _It's not worth it Lily, _I told myself but couldn't order my legs to turn around. I entered the forbidden forest and a while in I stopped and sat down against a tree. I knew by now that I couldn't stop the tears swelling in my eyes. I buried my face in my knees, _why was I crying? Can it be?_ Of course it is… even though I'm trying to deny it; I am falling for _the _James Potter

**James POV**

She surprised all of us by figuring out most of it but then, when she stormed out of there I could swear I saw something glittering in the sun. _Was she crying? Why would she? If not… but she can't be. _She has hated my guts for the past six years why would that change now? And how could it change so fast?

"James? Are you okay?" Dorcas asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"I'm fine" he said in an unconvincing tone.

"You sure mate? You look pale" Sirius put in.

I am a bit worried, had I made her cry? Where did she go? What if she hurt herself, all I knew was that I was going to find her.

"I just need some air" I said and hurried out the door.

It was my fault I should at least go look for her and explain, no matter how much she'll hate me afterwards. I looked for her in all the book shops in Hogsmead (I don't know, she likes to read when she's upset). Then I tried every other place, even the Hogs head. Finally I came to the conclusion that she had left the village. So she must have left, but where to? If I were an upset Lily, where would I go? I don't know. I wouldn't be able to move. _Stop it James! This is not the time for one of your jokes, _I shook my head. She hates me enough already and I want to change that. Maybe this could be the start of something; I can't graduate without knowing that I'll meet her again. If I can't get together with her then can't we at least be friends? _Well, making her cry isn't really such a goof start… _I shook my head and mentally slapped myself. I really have to stop fighting with myself. She deserves the truth and therefore I'm going to give her it. With determination I continued on my way, this time to look for her in the castle. But I stopped halfway there and slowly turned my head towards the forest. _Could she? _Yeah she could, and she definitely would if she was as upset as I think she was. Without thinking about it more my feet started moving on their own and I didn't try to stop them either. I felt a breeze of confidence; _I just know she's in there. _My heart started beating at the same pace as my steps and it felt as if it was the wind that carried me towards the trees. I entered the forest with the hope in my heart that I'd find her, and sighed in relief as I saw a small figure with shaking shoulders leaning against a tree nearby. It let out soft noises that I knew to be sobs. It made my heart break and I stood rooted to the spot, the wind no longer reaching me. I felt my stomach burn with shame, but at the same time I was happy that I found her. The red hair glowed, and I felt the corners of my lips twitch as I realised that she was the only light in there. She gave the forest a beautiful stream of life that I'm sure no one else would've been able to make. In fear of facing those sad, glittering, emerald eyes I let out small soundless breaths. _Are you a Gryffindor or not? _I asked myself as I realised I was only making her sit there longer. I should be there apologising and begging for forgiveness but instead I stood by the side and watched her. _She's right, I am a heartless git, _I hung my head and closed my eyes. I wanted to shut the world out so I could be miserable in peace. But I know that right now I should only be caring about what I've done to Lily. With one final shameful thought I approached the small, fragile looking red-head. I hesitated before sitting down next to her, trying to avoid having to look at her. She didn't even raise her head from her arms but I felt her tense and frowned at the ground. Only seconds past but it felt like a thousand years before I'd worked up the courage to speak.

"Lily…" I whispered slowly.

She turned her head a little to indicate that she was listening.

"This is my entire fault and even though I know you'll hate me I have to tell you what actually happened back there"

I forced myself to look at her.

"It started when I rescued Dorcas that day at the Quidditch pit" I started "She said that she would do anything in return, so I asked her to go to Hogsmead with me"

I paused before continuing.

"And so today I told her my plan, yes, I had made a plan, but not for her and me" this caught Lilys attention and she stared at me with big eyes "and then

_Flashback_

"_We'll meet in the three broomsticks in an hour" Dorcas told them before she grabbed my jacket and we entered Zonkos._

"_Eh…" I started, trying to get her attention._

"_What, didn't you want to come in here first?" she asked me with innocent eyes._

"_It's not that, do you remember when I said that I tell you my plan when we came here"_

"_Yeah" she answered slowly, starting to get suspicious._

"_Then lets go somewhere else so I can tell you it" I threw her a sneaky smile before leading the way to the shrieking shack._

"_Not what I had expected" she laughed nervously "but if you want a private place then I guess this is the perfect place"_

"_Okay" I started, turning to stand directly in front of her "Here's the plan, you go out with me to make Lily jealous so she'll want me"_

_An easy and harmless plan, I had thought at the moment. Her smile disappeared off her face and she seemed a little disappointed but not enough for me to realise that something was wrong._

"_Oh…" she frowned and blushed at the ground._

"_Don't you like it?" I had asked her._

"_No! I mean…yes? Whatever the right answer is" she sighed and put on her smile again, this time less convincing "it's a simple plan, I guess"_

"_Exactly what I thought" I exclaimed and put an arm around her "great minds think alike"_

_I winked at her and we headed back to the village…_

I buried my face in my hands and screamed inside, I now realised that not only had I hurt Lily. I had hurt Dorcas too! How come I didn't notice right away, I'm such a… a… a git, undeserving of love and friends. I continued until I felt a slight shake beside me. Afraid that she'd started crying again or was shaking with anger I shot my gaze to her face to read her expression. I was surprised to hear soft chuckles escaping her mouth.

"What part of this is funny?" I asked, taken aback "I was a total jerk to you and Dorcas!"

"You always come up with the most stupid plans" she looked at me with her tired, kind eyes "but to think I actually fell for it, I think I left my brain in the school"

"But…" I stared at her confused "what I did… you should be furious right now"

"Do you want me to?" now it was her turn to look confused.

"No, but…"

"Then what's the problem James?"

I once again frowned at the ground and started scolding myself.

"I was horrible to you"

"Yeah, you were" she said mercilessly "was that what you wanted to hear?"

"I'm sorry" I said in barely more then a whisper.

"What?" her eyes locked themselves on a branch in the distance as she asked him in a chocked voice.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I didn't mean to break Dorcas heart, and I'm sorry that I played with your feelings like an idiot and know now that I do certainly not deserve you, you were right…

**Lilys POV**

Those words were not what I had expected, I'd tried laughing away my frustration and confused feelings but this was enough to break anyone. I just can't believe that those words escaped his mouth that was the most selfless thing he'd ever said. This just couldn't be the James Potter I thought I knew. He couldn't have cared less about what he did to me and he certainly would never apologise or admit that he was a fool and an idiot. Next to me, I saw a grown man admitting that he did wrong, feeling shame and scolding himself. I wanted to hug him and tell him that it wasn't his fault, but that would be lying. Everything was his fault but he was being way too hard on himself.

"Aren't you exaggerating a little now?" I smiled uncertainly.

"Lily…" my heart skipped a beat and I found my eyes locked on his "when it's about you, I never exaggerate"

He stroked away the last trace of my tears and I felt my face grow hot. _If I lean forwards just a bit… _I thought when we were only centimetres apart. I swallowed hard and took a glance at his red lips. I shivered slightly from the cold air around us but hoped he didn't notice. Of course, I had no such luck.

"Are you cold?" he said concerned "here, take mine"

He took of his jacket and put it over my shoulders. I unconsciously breathed in his scent as his hand accidentally touched my neck. Salt and oranges, some would have thought of it as unusual but I knew it as comfortable. His skin was soft and I took a moment just to remember the warmth of it.

"Apology accepted" I smiled at him.

"Can I ask you something?" was his response and I just shrugged.

Inside though I feared that he was going to turn into the Potter I knew and ask me out while giving me his special smirk.

"Can we be friends?" his voice unusually warm.

I smiled while surprised and hesitated before leaning in for a hug,

"Of course"

Maybe I didn't know him, maybe he had changed. Whatever it was, I was going to find out. The hug lasted a little longer than it should have but I enjoyed it. Suddenly, it started snowing around us and small snowflakes decorated his raven hair. When we broke apart we were both blushing and I decided that we should head inside before he got a cold, sitting there without a jacket.

"Lets get inside" I offered him my hand and he took it willingly.

**So… what did you think? Please leave a review and thanks to those who has reviewed/read/favourite/alerted this story. This chapter was really cosy to write and I hope it was as cosy to read. I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes and I hope you enjoyed it anyway. You are free to tell me if I made any mistakes so that I can learn from it and not repeat them.**

**Have a good day ;)**


	11. That's Lily Evans

**Disclaimer: I do certainly not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the magical world!**

**A/N: OH MY GOD, I'm late again. I updated like a month ago, I'm so sorry dear readers, I just went back to school and got loads on my back :/ But that doesn't feel like a good enough apology so loads of apologise for you and have a good time reading **

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 11**

James had tried to catch up with Dorcas for almost three weeks now and tell her how sorry he was for what happened. Dorcas though, as you can imagine, just ignored him and her broken heart. I'd tried talking to her but for some reason she thought it'd be fine to ignore me too. Somehow I'd ended up with both of my best friends against me and I just didn't know what I had done. I walked up to the three marauders at the lunch table with a deep frown. Dorcas had actually yelled at me this time to leave her alone and I was feeling depression on my shoulders.

"Hey, cheer up lily flower" Black grinned at my slumped posture.

I was so down that I didn't even manage a real glare at the annoying Gryffindor.

"You must be really upset" Remus stared at me with a chocked expression "I mean, you've been giving our little Padfoot over here glares whenever you got the chance to over the past… decade"

"Don't be stupid, we haven't even known Lily for a decade" James retorted.

"Almost" Remus threw him a weak glare.

"See! Even Remus throws glares around him Lils" Black exclaimed.

He scooted closer while I raised a brow at him and unknowingly scooted closer to James.

"Yup, she's gone mad!" Black shouted dramatically, making the rest of the houses stare at us with a wondering look "She didn't hesitate to move closer to James, she's mad, she's totally out of her mind!"

"Lily and James sitting in a tree…" Peter emerged out of nowhere and started singing.

The rest of the Gryffindor table stared wide-eyed at me to see what I'd do next. I kept a straight face until Peter thought it funny to continue.

"K-I-S-S-I-N…"

"Shut up!" Both I and James screamed at him and my hand swung towards his head.

He ducked smoothly and glanced at me before running away.

"Come back here!" I yelled after him, starting to go after him when I felt a hand on my arm.

"No Lily, let him be" James said soothingly, staring into my eyes with special warmth.

"No, he deserves whatever I can give him, that, that… Rat" I threw my arms in the air and sat down, glaring at the doors.

A surprised laughter started behind me and I looked around to see the three marauders laughing at me.

"Now what's so funny?" I hissed.

"No nothing's funny, we just…" James tried but couldn't stifle the chuckles escaping his mouth.

I stood up angrily and started walking out of the hall but stopped half way there.

"Worthless, that's what you are James Potter!" I yelled at him and stomped out of the hall.

I thought he'd changed, _well you were wrong honey, that's what you get when you follow your heart, always the most confusing way it would be better if we didn't have them. _And just as I thought my day couldn't get any worse, it did. I rounded a corner and collided with the brunette I now called ex-friend.

"Watch it Evans" she muttered.

Her words hurt me and I held back tears as she stood up and walked away. I collected my books into my bag and shuffled of towards the Gryffindor tower.

"Hey Li… I mean, hey Evans" The voice of Dorcas sounded behind me "have you seen Dorcas…"

Her last words were drowned as she came closer. I tried rushing away from her so she wouldn't see the tears hiding behind my lids.

"It'd be nice if you answered my question before you ran off like a child" Dorcas said with a changing voice.

It screamed regret but didn't help a bit.

"She just ran into me, the way that she doesn't look where she walks, or was it just me" I ranted "I, useless Lily Evans, hated by everyone, because she did something she can't even explain herself!"

This time I didn't even wait for her to reply and once again stomped away.

"No, you're just _the_ Lily Evans that gets everything" I heard nothing but a whisper after me.

Those words crept into my brain and while I sat studying in my dormitory I shuddered and waved it away. I obviously didn't get everything, I had a sister that hated me, and I didn't have any friend. Everywhere I went, I was laughed, screamed or glared at. I could remember every word that fled my way and they were stuck in my mind to never be erased. I was starting to wonder if they were ever my friends. I didn't ask for James to like me, I didn't ask for him to use Dorcas. Why was all blame on me? Not that I want them to hate on anyone the way that they'd hated on me the past weeks. Sure, they hated James too but at least they ignored him. There was a knock on the door and I closed the curtains around my bed. I heard the door open with a creak and hid underneath my covers, pretending that I was sleeping when I realised that it was probably James that wanted to talk or something. _Not after the way that he treated me yesterday, _I thought and closed my eyes as the curtains around my bed were opened.

"You know, I'm not falling for that one again" I sat up in surprise as Dorcas voice reached my ears.

I turned to stare at my, used to be friend. She squirmed uncomfortably under my gaze and I moved over to let her sit next to me. She gave me a slight smile which I took gratefully.

"I've been unfair to you Lily" she started "I was so mad at you in the beginning that Alice told me not to cave under your reactions, to keep a straight attitude no matter how much it felt wrong"

I bit my lip as tears started forming in my eyes.

"And I'm sorry, you couldn't have changed anything, it wasn't your fault, I was just too blind to see it, Lily...?"

I had buried my face in my knees and heard a few sniffles next to me.

"I feel so bad now, I'm sorry Lils" she gave me a hug and I began openly sobbing.

"Please don't cry" We said at the same time and I giggled a little at our emotional situation.

"Look at us" I said, glancing up at her, still crying "we're a mess"

"Then you should see Alice" she laughed a little "she's a wreck that one"

"It's hard to fight your enemies, but you're totally screwed if you start fighting a friend like we've been doing" I admitted.

"Yeah" Dorcas laughed through sobs.

We refused to break the hug for the next half hour.

"We should really get some dinner" I said at last.

I got a nod from the blonde and stood up.

"We should find Alice firs though; I don't think she can handle much more"

I agreed and off we went.

We found Alice in the Gryffindor common room with piles of books around her and Black standing next to her with an amazed look.

"What the heck Prewett?" He looked around him and shook his head.

I tried hard not to giggle at the sight in front of me. Alice had found what I had; I always studied or read a book when I was upset to get my mind off things.

"Yeah, watch out, you might become as smart as me" I grinned.

The book dropped from her hands and she made her way over in a rush.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…" she repeated over and over, like a robot on replay.

She shuddered and she had dark circles under her eyes and her pupils were small and shaky.

"Did I tell you she's been living on coffee, since she can't sleep?"

I studied my friend with a worried gaze and took a hold of her arm.

"Kitchens, now" I ordered her.

Dorcas and I dragged the wreck of our friend down to the kitchens and sat her down in a chair. I went and got a blanket while Dorcas talked to the house elves about some real food and something against the coffee. I carefully put the blanket around my friend and rubbed her back soothingly while whispering comforting words at her. Dorcas turned up with a plate of sandwiches and a cup of something grey.

"What's that?" I asked with a disgusted look.

"It's to get rid of all the coffee in her, and the house elves were sure that it tasted better than it looked"

I sighed and gestured for her to feed out incapable friend.

"Sorry, sorry, rosy, so…" Alice gulped down the grey liquid and sat quiet for a while before falling into a deep rest.

I stared at her for a while before turning to Dorcas.

"Maybe you should have fed her the sandwiches first" I suggested.

"Oops?" she smiled "well at least she's sleeping, I was thinking of sending her to St Mungos"

"It would've helped her more, if you did something about it before she went insane" I rolled my eyes at the blonde who just scoffed and sat quietly.

"Who told you about the kitchens?" a voice behind us asked.

"I've read over thousands of books James, you'd think there'd be something about the kitchens in there somewhere" I said without looking back at him.

"She's always right isn't she?"

"Yeah, that's Lily Evans for you"

**Woo! I updated, sorry about the long wait. I hope you liked it, please review and thanks to those that have reviewed/alerted/read this story. I really appreciate it. Until next time "bows and waves"**


	12. Chapter 12: Growing feelings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… now you know that**

**WARNING: HUGH authors note at the end!**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 12**

**James POV**

I watched how Lily and Dorcas tried to carry Prewett up the narrow and suspiciously very much moving staircases, leading to the Gryffindor common room. They'd insisted that they didn't need any help and so I and my fellow marauders were now sniggering quietly as they stumbled and cursed at every wrong turn. If they hadn't been carrying their, surprisingly heavy friend, they would've sent death glares capable to actually kill us. All they would need was the flick of a wand and there they would be. I shuddered at the thought and continued focusing on the great show in front of us.

When we reached the top and stood in front of the portrait of the fat lady Lily muttered the password in a very unwelcoming tone that made me consider saying goodbye to my friends' right there and flee into the warm dark bed inside of my magically locked door before Lily came. She would be sure to punish him for his teasing and that would be a promise after today's joke at dinner. She wouldn't understand how funny it had been that she'd guessed just right for Wormtail. I definitely didn't plan on telling her either since it was the biggest marauder secret of them all and to tell someone outside of the group would be like breaking the law or something. It would eventually lead up to telling about Moony's "time of the month" and that is a secret to be kept until we're in our graves. Still, as if on autopilot I kept following them into the common room.

"Well, see you Padfoot" I said even though I was staring after Lily "Mooney" I added with a distracted tone. I was just about to back away when Peter piped up.

"What about me!"

"Oh sorry Wormtail, goodnight"

"Night mate" They chimed while rolling their eyes.

Instead of whinging about how they should stop teasing me and give looks that obviously says "Typical Prongs" I just slid my way out of the common room and through the halls to mine and Lily's shared common room. I said the password after a glance around me and entered. Once I stood inside I started considering if I'd take the risk and sit in front of the fire for a while. Maybe I could just get through this by acting like an annoying git, just this once. I shook my head to clear myself of that thought. Now of all times, when she's warmed up to me a bit, would be the worst time to go back to the ignorant git I was before. No, I'd just hide inside my locked room, hoping she wouldn't break down the door. Just as that thought passed through my mind and I started towards my door I heard a very unsatisfying growling behind me.

"Just because we didn't want, or need, your help doesn't mean you can laugh at us as if we were some sort of circus performance!" Lily exclaimed "and not to mention that you laughed at me earlier, I mean, what was that about, I didn't even say anything, did my appearance amuse you or what?"

I shrank with every screeching word the said and shot her the sweetest apologetic look I could make.

"I'm sorry?" I tried.

"Oh no you're not, not yet anyway, you're going to be twice, no thrice, no, whatever" she stumbled angrily over her words "you're going to be so sorry that you'll feel like your ass got kicked by, by… SNAPE" she snapped her fingers and nodded.

"I would never…" I started in outrage, but Lily just held her hand in the air with a stubborn look.

"That's enough, I've heard enough and you are allowed to leave" she said in a calm and very motherly voice.

I slumped like a little child and dragged my feet to my door. There I stopped and looked back at her with a half hopeful look.

"No" she said sternly.

I lazily opened my door and slid inside. Not but a second later I storm out again.

"I thought you said you'd make me sorry?" I asked wonderingly, hoping that she'd let it pass.

"Yes, but I don't want you to know, I want it to be a surprise so that you'll be even more sorry for making fun of me" she said with her head held high.

With a scared expression I crept inside of my bedchamber again and locked the door as planned.

**Lily's POV**

I'll show him, I thought as I inwardly smoked with emotions. He'll never know what hit him. I laughed a crazed laugh under my breath and flapped down on my bed._ Good God Lily take it easy, take a breath and calm down, you're starting to go mad,_ my inner voice told me. Well it's not my fault that Potter drives me out of my wits, he just has this way to know exactly where my buttons are and which moment it would be worst to push them. He really must be the most annoying git in this generation. _But he's also something more,_ the voice started speaking again, _you have more than one feeling towards him and you know it, don't deny that you like it when he teases you sometimes. It makes you relax because you know that he does it to make you think of other things when you are down. A perfect moment to press a certain button, you know that he knows how to push more than one of them. _I shook my head, I really should stop having conversations with myself, and it's starting to get creepy how that voice knows more about how I feel than I do. Even if I do like James it doesn't mean I should give him the pleasure of it just after he got back on acting like a git. That would just encourage him to keep being annoying. I said he'd be sorry, not happy. I can't fully trust that he isn't just playing some sort of game with me right now and that the git is actually him. I just, can't…

I grunted as the light burnt my eyes when I opened them. Why won't the sun just leave me alone, just this Saturday? I groaned as I threw my legs off the bed and made for the bathroom. I'm always the first one up on weekends; everyone just lets it pass because they think I go up early to study, when I actually just take a book with me to the common room to read because I can't sleep. I just let them think whatever they want to because I don't feel like arguing with them. I choose my book for the day carefully and once again settles for a muggle book I brought from home called Graceling. It is my favourite since I was thirteen and I can never reread it enough times. I sneak into the common room on my tip toes as to not wake James up with any noise, he's suspiciously easily woken. I settle in the armchair closest to the fire and open the book with a smile on my face. After a while (when I'm totally entranced with the story) I feel a pair of eyes watching me. I stop reading in an instant and glance a little to my left. There James was sitting in the other armchair with an amused grin on his face.

"Took you long enough to notice, why were you sneaking by the way?"

"Not to wake you of course, how long have you been sitting here anyway?" I asked, slightly irritated.

"I while before you came" He answered simply.

"Great" I said unenthusiastically.

I have no idea how I look when I read but I get very weird when someone tries to interrupt me. I must have looked hilarious judging by his expression. I sighed tiredly and stared back at him.

"Stop staring, would you?" I snapped.

"Not a morning, person are you?" he let slip a small laugh.

The sound rang in my ears and echoed in my mind, just so pleasant and for once, so genuine.

"Not really, I guess" I confirmed slowly.

His face got stuck in a smile that I wished would turn into one of his teasing annoying grins because it gave me this weird kind of feeling.

"Yeah well, I'm just going to go back to bed then" I say as I give him an uncertain smile and start backing away.

"Why?" He says, his eyes growing big "did I say something wrong?"

Oh my, he wouldn't know how strange it was for him to look at me like that.

"No, it's just" I say quickly "I often just come here in the morning like this because I can't sleep and well… now I feel a bit sleepier" I lied.

It was a small lie even though it gave me a small lump in my throat.

"Okay" he smiled a bit again "Goodnight… I mean good morning" he said and patted me on the shoulder.

This one gesture sent warmth through me and I couldn't help but smile a little back even though I was incredibly confused.

"Good morning James" I smiled and slid inside my room again.

**Authors Note: Okay… so it was like half a year since I updated, I'm a terrible person O.O I'm so sorry but I just finished my first term in senior school, and life has kind of been revolving around essays and homework and studying, hehe. I haven't been in the mood because of that either but now after the Christmas holidays I feel a bit pumped to try to actually finish this story. If I don't update that much after the 8****th**** of January I want you to know that it's because we get loads of essays and homework thrown upon us (there's barely a week where we don't have an essay or test or you know… those things) and of course I'm heading for good grades and really am looking forward to reaching my goals **** I will of course still upload and if you haven't seen it I did put this story into HIATUS, it says so in the description box but I will remove it. I hope you won't just give up on me and un-follow this story because I just don't get enough inspiration to keep going or am too up into something else. I wish you a great day and thanks for reading ;) 3 **


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer****: I ****don't****own Harry Potter or its characters!**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 13**

**Lilys POV **

I'd been walking down the halls to the potions lesson when I caught his eye. Lucius Malfoy was sending me a smug grin and there was something in his eyes that worried me. He wouldn't look at me like that if it'd be something but horrible, who knows what's spinning through his head. The blonde thought everyone adored him because of his "bad boy" reputation. I couldn't care less about anyone's reputation but to the Slytherin gang of "leaders" it was what made everyone either: fear you, love you, hate you or bully you. There were those people who were passive and didn't have a reputation at all because they didn't stand out from the crowd; much like it was in muggle school. I'd always been looked down upon because of my sister; she could even pass as my personal bully. She lives with me when I'm not at Hogwarts, luckily though that's only like twice a year. Of all the things she's called me I think her favorite is "freak". According to her it's just unnatural to be able to do magic, but even though she says all those things to me I know it's just out of jealousy. She wanted to come with me to the school where I learned how to cast spells, brew potions, cast charms and defend myself with magic. I even suspect she sent a letter to the school about asking if she could join, but of course, she wasn't like me. Petunia couldn't have less magic in her than she does and even though she hated me out of envy all of these years she's still my sister. It still hurts me when she says those words to me but I'm so used to it by now that all I ca do is suck it up and live with it. I realized I'd slowed down and that my gaze was settled back on Malfoy who now just stood with a thoughtful look, his stare still directed towards me. I jumped a bit when I realized how lost I must have looked and couldn't help the blush that crept up my neck. Great, that'll give him something to gloat about. He made _the _Lily Evans blush and stare. I felt as if I'd committed a crime and got a sick feeling to my stomach and hurriedly stomped away.

I met up with Dorcas and Alice in the dungeons and said a bright but very squeaky hello which made Alice raise her eyebrows in my direction as Dorcas just burst with laughter. I managed a glare through my blush and grumbled under my breath.

"Stop it, Lils, you're killing me" Dorcas barked.

"It wasn't that funny" I pouted.

"It kind of was" Alice giggled "you look as if…"

"…as if you've been in a broom cupboard with someone for the past hour" Dorcas interrupted.

"That wasn't what I was going to say but that fits too" Alice agreed.

"Shut up" I mumbled angrily and looked down the hall.

There I saw the four boys I least wanted to see at the moment.

"Hey, Lils…" Sirius broke of when he saw her, (very long lasting) blush and dishevelled expression "who did you play with this morning"

He held back his dog like laughter and grinned annoyingly at me.

"I didn't!" I exclaimed "and it doesn't look like it either!"

"Well…" James started slowly.

"Don't you dare James Potter" I hissed pointing at him with a threatening finger.

"Or what" He asked trying to keep from grinning in her face.

"I'll make beg for mercy" I glared.

"How" his mouth split into a wide grin.

I swung a hand at his head but right before my hand would've collided with his head, his hand shot up to take a hold of her.

"First of all Lily, I'm a chaser in Quidditch" he pointed out "my reflexes are way better than yours, second of all, I think you would regret that"

He gave me one of his very so serious looks and that was when I noticed how close we actually stood. With not so much strength I pulled back from his loose grip and backed a step.

"Why would I do that when you're such a git Potter?" I snapped "can't you just leave me be?"

I noticed how his eyes had gone could at my words and just when he opened his mouth to argue with me professor Slughorn opened the door to the class room. First he looked between us and I definitely thought he'd say something to us but when he opened his mouth it was to the entire class.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He asked "come on, in with you"

Thankful for the escape I hurried inside. I sat down in the very front left corner, putting down my bag with a thud and letting my hair cover my red face from the rest of the room. I leaned on my elbow and focused on a flask on the table at the front of the class. I heard the scraping of the chair next to me but didn't dare look up at who it was for the worry of getting laughed at a bit more. The room went dead quiet and I realized right then and there who it was next to me.

"Potter I don't…" I started snappishly but found my voice caught in my throat when I turned around.

I felt a cold chill up my spine when I met the ice blue eyes that belonged to none other than Lucius Malfoy. I had to strain myself from jumping out of my chair and running to god knows where.

"Did I disappoint you?" He said in a smooth boring tone.

I was too shocked to say anything and apparently so was everyone else too since there wasn't even a sound of breathing. Malfoy had just sat down next to the Gryffindor Mudblood who also just happened to be a book obsessed girl and he'd done it willingly. Finally there was the scraping of chairs on the side of the room where the Slytherins usually sat and I glanced up to see Narcissa Malfoy sit down and stare at the front of the class but casually sending some curious glances.

"We…well" Slughorn stuttered "what are you waiting for, take a seat"

I realized that I was staring open mouthed at Malfoy and closed my mouth and snapped my head to the professor who started going through loads of potion safety and what never to do when you brew a potion. We wouldn't be actually brewing today, which was a big disappointment since I would've given anything to get away from the Slytherin pureblood next to me. I refused to even look his way until I felt him discreetly shuffling closer so that no one noticed.

"Choose your friends wisely and you'll survive, Mudblood" he hissed in my ear.

His breath lingered coldly against my neck and I didn't dare move. My brain froze at the words and I couldn't accept that they'd been spoken. He leaned back again but I barely breathed for the rest of the hour of potions. As professor Slughorn declared the lesson over I was the first to stand and leave. I sprinted down the halls as if chased and reached the portrait hole to mine and James shared common room. I locked myself in my room and sat down by the window overlooking the grounds and Quidditch field. Either it was freezing cold in my room or I still found my self paralyzed by the words now imprinted in my mind. After a while there was a hesitant knock on the door but I didn't answer. One more came and this one was harder.

"Lily? Are you in there?" I heard James's voice through the door.

"Of course she is stupid, the door is freaking locked"

I heard the slap of a hand against a head and snorted.

"Ouch, fine, Lily could you please come out" he pleaded "better?"

I sighed and shuffled towards the door and unlocked it.

"Wow, can't believe that actually worked" James said surprised.

"So she gets to hit you but when I try to do it you just act on your reflexes"

"She has good reflexes too you know!" he defended.

"Yeah right" I avoided his gaze.

There was a moment of silence that finally was broken by Dorcas normal but slightly squeakier voice.

"So, can we come in?"

"Oh, yeah, right" I said stepping aside "come on in"

They entered and I went to sit down by the window again.

"Are you alright Lily flower?" Dorcas said trying to lighten the mood and sitting down next to me.

I needed little time to think of the answer and shook my head, not at all. I felt her hand on my shoulder and her other on my back, rubbing it soothingly.

"What did he say?" James cut in.

"Potter" Dorcas exclaimed "I told you we should make her comfortable again before we question her!"

"Sorry"

"No, it's alright"

The rubbing ceased and I could almost feel her surprise.

"It's never that easy for me" she mumbled which made me snort humorlessly.

"So?" James came to stand in front of me.

He casually leaned against the wall to indicate that he was listening.

"He…" I thought back on it as my brain had frozen it out "he said that I should choose my friends wisely and that if I do…" I wandered off, staring at the red curtains around my bed.

"What" Dorcas asked quietly, the soothing gesture forgotten.

"…I'll survive" I whispered, thinking about it.

What did he mean by 'choosing my friends wisely' I had my friends and I would never leave them for anything, never. Did he mean that I should reconsider some people or…

"That's a threat!" James exclaimed, sitting down and taking my hands" Lily are you okay?"

The worry in his face was crystal clear and I couldn't help but feel like a small child who'd just got kicked in the stomach. It was like my years in muggle school but a million times worse.

"I believe I already answered that, and it didn't really get any better"

"See, I told you, comfort then question" Dorcas said "I'm never letting you come along anymore Potter"

"Hey, I didn't say that to her" he protested.

"No, its okay really" I tried "I would've felt bad anyway"

It felt as if the conversation would continue if it weren't for the owl that interrupted by knocking on the window. I sat a bit straighter and opened up for it. It was majestic, grey and dull; it even had a bored look in its eyes. The envelope around its leg was decorated with emerald green ink. It was nicely written but made my stomach churn. I reached out to untie it and read the name on the front. _Lily Evans…_

**Woot! I got you a cliff hanger, *insert evil laugh here* see I can update: P**

**Ooh even I'm getting curious haha. Feel free to leave a review/fav/follow and have a nice day **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or any of its characters**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 14**

**James POV**

I watched as Lily opened the letter with the emerald writing on it and saw how her face hardened as she read. I was just about to ask what it was when she opened the window, teared the letter it into small pieces and let it float away with the wind. I glanced at Dorcas who probably looked just as surprised as me, if not even more. I decided best to keep my mouth shut this time and just watched as Lily fiddled with her hair. She looked like a kicked puppy and I can imagine she felt like it too. There was a distant look in her eyes and her special light that always seemed to glint in the corner of her eyes was put out like when you throw water over fire. What happened to the brave, fiery, humorous Lily who would sit and read anywhere she went? Read, now for the first time I think I understand why she does it, she finds comfort she can't get otherwise. Her books take her far away to a place when all sorts itself out. I've seen how she becomes when she reads; she's like in a trance and won't leave whatever world lies in there until she's comfortable and happy. It's like having a mom be there for you and help you through hard times, which reminds me that Lily has never talked about her mom or her dad for that matter. I wonder what they're like; if they're anything like Lily I'd like to meet them. Maybe she inherited humour from her father, like most people do. I wonder who she got her wonderful hair from. He found himself smiling on the inside but couldn't show it since it was quite a dull scene right now.

"Shouldn't you talk to Dumbledore about this, or at least your parents?"

She sighed and stared hopelessly at the floor.

"No it'd just get worse, believe me" she muttered.

She was really one to bring you down; I feel so much for her right now that I think if she'd cry I'd break down, honestly.

"But you have to do something" I pleaded.

"I can't"

"Yes you can, you're Lily Evans" I exclaimed "What the hell can't you do?"

Her eyes glinted with a moment of joy as she let slip a small laugh.

"Thanks James" she gave a kind smile.

"Okay, before you two go all cuddly can't I at least get to eat my dinner before I throw it up" Dorcas teased.

"Hey" we exclaimed at the same time.

I was thankful for her small joke though since it seemed to be the way to get Lily's mind off of things this time, maybe that's exactly what she needed. Now I understand why Lily's friends with Dorcas, they complement each other perfectly. They bring each other up and help each other stand tall. I let my smile show and joined them down to the great hall for dinner.

**Lily's POV**

I was laughing as I watched Dorcas and Sirius having a teasing match of some sort and Sirius seemed to be winning, much to Dorcas's annoyance. I was sitting next to James and Remus while Alice was next to Dorcas and Peter forgotten. No one knew where he'd been off to lately; the guys said that they suspected that Peter "finally" had found a girl. I guess that could be true but I still feel curious as if it doesn't really fit. That's when my attention is brought over to the Slytherin table where I hear a high pitched laugh. I look up to see Bellatrix Lestrange sitting next to Malfoy. I meet his gaze and he gives me a crooked grin. I shudder at the memory of the letter and hear the words echo in my head as if he'd actually spoken them aloud. _Time, time is running out, _I stood up in a second without thinking about it but before anyone even noticed there was a hand on my arm. James seemed to have been paying attention to what was happening.

"It's okay Lils" he said soothingly "I'll never let him near you"

I felt annoyance that he should think I needed help but another part of me was just thankful that he'd said it. It gave me the comfort and hope I needed, I'm scared at the moment but if I know my friends right then I know that they would never let me down, just as I'd never let them down. I gave him a small smile that didn't entirely reach my mind and sat down again.

"Thanks" I said in barely more than a whisper.

Dorcas had started arguing instead of teasing now while Sirius looked just as smug as before.

"Lils" I heard from over the table where Alice was looking worriedly at me.

"It's nothing" I insist and she let it go for the moment.

I notice that Remus wears a thoughtful look as well and just roll my eyes.

"Really, both of, stop worrying"

"Sorry Lils" Remus shoots me a smile.

We finish dinner as we usually do and before I know it, I'm laying in my soft warm bed.

The Christmas holiday is nearing and everyone seems to be packing away and talking about Christmas presents and going home or staying at Hogwarts. I of course am going home to my dad to celebrate with him and Petunia. A shame really, I've never seen Christmas at Hogwarts and I'd rather like that instead of having to spend it with my sister who'll have a group of new words for me. Maybe she learned them from her new dinosaur boyfriend, he's round, barely has any neck, and he dislikes un-normal people just as much as my sister, which is why I think they fit perfectly. Petunias neck is enough for both of them anyway. My dad knew that I wouldn't be able to spend my entire holiday with Petunia and her boyfriend so she's going to spend a week at his house to celebrate too and dad and I will have some father daughter time. We'll probably go to the café near the middle of the town we live in, they always decorate so beautifully for Christmas and it's my absolute favourite. He'll have to give me my birthday present then too since my birthday was in September, not that I told anyone. As usual I'll get a small present from petunia like a boring, normal and plain dress so that I can 'at least look normal' as she'd say. That'd be both birthday and Christmas presents; she doesn't 'waste' her money on me. I had already bought presents for Dorcas, Alice, Remus, Dad, Tuney/Petunia and flowers. I wonder if I should buy something for James though, we have become closer this past month. I don't know what I would buy though, maybe some book about Quidditch? No, books aren't really hid favourite things, maybe a shirt? _You're not his girlfriend Lily_. So I can't give him a book or a shirt, what am I suppose to buy then? _Just ask him Lils_, yeah, I'll do that. As if on cue I see the Gryffindor walking down the hall towards me.

"Hey Lils" he waves and I start walking towards him.

"Hey" I smile "Say James, do you want anything for Christmas?"

"Eh, lets see" he says putting his hand to his chin and start pretending to stroke a beard he doesn't have "I actually am in need of some new shirts, mine have all been really bad quality, the seems break"

"Oh… okay"

I had that idea, weird.

"How about you?" he continues.

"What" I say stupidly.

"What do you want for Christmas?" he chuckles.

"Oh" I say and tilt my head, what do I want for Christmas?

A big stuffed animal perhaps, nope. I don't want clothes either. I could do with some books though.

"An interesting book maybe" I answer.

Sirius laughs while James stays smiling and Remus grins a little to himself. Truth be told I'd thought James would laugh too and say something like 'Should I even have asked?' but he didn't, he didn't react at all, he just kept smiling.

"Sure, what would you prefer?"

"Surprise me" I grin "What do you think I'd like?"

I turn around as I hear a familiar 'Lils' in the other end of the hall.

"Got to go" I wave at them "see you"

I smile one last time and walk over to Alice and Dorcas.

With three days left to Christmas holidays I've already bought James's present (a scarlet shirt, in very good quality) but I give them their presents when we part ways and wait until Christmas. The snow outside was thick and glittering beautifully, the other day James attacked me with a snowball and now we're sitting in the Gryffindor common room being way beyond bored. I was trying to teach them how to play a game of cards but even I had to confess that it was boring but we had nothing else to do.

"Lily, we get the game" Dorcas groans" we're just not interested"

"No I know" I say while putting the cards back in their box "what do you think I'm doing? I've always hated this game"

There was a synced snort from the company and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You did that to torture us even more?" Sirius exclaims "Oh Lily, thou have a cold heart"

I roll my eyes as to say 'ever the drama queen' and laugh with the rest of them.

As the night closes in on us I decide to head back and while I'm walking through the shadowed halls I hear a small knocking on glass. I look around and see the dull, grey and majestic bird I've been trying so hard to forget. I hesitate but let my curiousness take over and let it in. I untie an envelope like the first one with my name one it. Ripping it open I take a breath before I open the letter. When I'm ready I unfold the parchment to see _5…_

**Authors note: Eeep! Thanks to all of you, you keep me wanting to write and I hope I don't bore you to death. Thank you so much for all the rewievs/favs/follows and I wish you a great day! 3**

**P.S: Do you want me to answer to your reviews because I've been thinking about it but I'm not sure if you'd like it or not, please tell me and I will 3**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of its characters **

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 15**

**James's POV**

Lily had been acting strangely today, she seemed deep in thought and the only thing that came as an answer if you talked to her was a distracted humming sound. We'd all given up on talking to her for the day and let her be. At least she didn't seem as upset about the Malfoy thing anymore, it sure was a nasty threat and if I could decide we would've gone up to Dumbledore as fast as we found Lily in her room. I seriously thought she'd start crying with the look on her face, she all rumpled and beaten even though he hadn't laid a finger on her. As long as she's forgetting about the simple lie of a threat I'm happy, I'm just not sure it'll be that easy. I have the feeling that it didn't just end because she stopped thinking about it all that much. I'd heard some shuffling sound inside her room yesterday when I came back from the Gryffindor common room and actually considered knocking and asking if everything was alright, I decided not to though. I've been keeping my eyes on her lately, almost worried that she'll just disappear and not come back again, not that I'd ever let anything like that happen.

**Lily's POV**

I'd thought about the letters and the threat as a whole and come to notice that there is some time I have. This could just be a big joke to make me scared (which it probably was) so I tried to not take it too seriously but when I got yet another letter that night I couldn't help but to be curious about what it meant. _4…_that's what it had said, making it seem like a countdown, this time though the number had flown of the parchment and sunk into my head. At first I'd panicked and squeaked while holding my hands over my forehead. After a while I took it as a trick to make me worry about what would happen, which made me think that it was just a trick so that they'd get a good laugh. I wondered if I'd get another one tonight and if I did what would it do. Obviously they're trying to scare me so it's not going to be pleasant. The more I thought about it, the more curious and scared I became. What if they did something that would actually hurt? Well James is right next door I could just go knock on his door and hope he'd help me. I focused on my friends who stood in a group a bit away nudging each other and arguing about something. Finally, James seemed to volunteer to do whatever it was they wanted, he put up his hand and turned away from them. To my surprise he headed for my direction.

"Hey Lils" he said with a hopeful smile that he seemed to so often wear nowadays "want to come with us for a snowball fight?"

"Yeah" I grinned "so I can kick your but"

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you, you know" he returned the grin and started walking "I'm awesome at snowball fights too"

"You now, you're just a lot of talk Potter, what about some action too?" I suggested.

"So you're suggesting we make teams or what?"

"Yup and you know how to make it fair?" I asked "boys against girls"

"That's hardly fair" he laughed "you three are so weak"

"You just watch how 'weak' we are when we're done with you"

I took a hold of Alice's and Dorcas's arms and dragged them outside with me.

"Lils what did you say now?" Alice asked with big eyes.

"Teams, girls against boys" I said stubbornly.

Sirius barked like some sort of a dog and held onto Remus.

"You're not going to last five minutes"

"Yeah, want to bet?" I raised my chin a bit as to look straight into his dark eyes.

"Sure, I bet five galleons" Black said with a smug smile.

I turned around for the girl's agreement and while Dorcas wore the same determined grin as me Alice just sighed and nodded.

"Fine" she gave up, knowing that it would be useless to argue.

"Great" Lily said holding out her hand to let them shake it.

Sirius reached for her hand and kissed the top of it, since apparently he was supposed to be a gentleman.

"If you do that again, you'll get more than snow in your face" I snapped.

The three of them just threw grins and dug deep into the snow. We ran out of reach and started building a fort; well Alice started building with Dorcas while I protected our snow fortress. I dug hole to keep the snowballs in and catapulted away, snowball after snowball reached its goal. The guys started closing in and I stopped throw for a while just to be able to yell: "abandon the fortress, we're under attack!" Everyone laughed but I, who only smiled a bit, started running around in circles around the guys like some sort of war machine. When close enough I attacked one of them, and in this case Remus went first. I rolled him onto his stomach and held him down.

"One, two, three, you're out" I yelled.

Alice had already doubled over with laughter and let herself get attacked by Sirius who sent her out. Just as he was about to attack me and head for victory, Dorcas came from the side and sent him down in the snow, they rolled around, trying to keep the other one down. I saw the last prey and we started circling each other like wild animals with wide grins on both our faces. This was hardly a normal snowball fight.

"You're so going to loose" I said with confidence.

"For the first time ever Lils, I think you're wrong"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment and say that I'm going to be right this time too"

He chuckled and in that moment I flung forwards, grabbing a handful of snow and pushed it against his face.

"Lils you're suffocating me" he laughed.

"Give up?"

"Never!" he pushed me over and sat on top of me in triumph.

"One, two…" he started.

"Nope I don't think so" I said pushing him off and holding him down.

"You know" he grinned "for someone who doesn't deal with sports you are very strong"

"One, thank you, two, and three" I flew off of him and stood up in triumph while punching my fists in the air.

Then I remembered Sirius and Dorcas and turned around. She was on top of him trying her best to keep him down. I hurried over and gave the extra weight that made him unmovable.

"ONE, TWO, THREE, YOU'RE OUT!" We screamed as a final count.

I high fived Dorcas and Alice and gasped a bit for air.

"You're unusually alike a marauder Lils" Sirius laughed.

"Am not, I'm better, didn't I just prove that?"

We laughed with all the air we had left until we really did need a breather so that we wouldn't pass out.

"No I'm serious, you would've been a great marauder" he grinned.

I felt uncomfortable so I just waved it away.

As the night closed in on me I still hadn't gotten an owl, much to my surprise. That was an awful joke, I'm really scared now, I thought as I rolled my eyes and prepared for bed. I sank in under my covers and sighed as warmth swallowed me whole. _Choose wisely, times running out. 5…4…3… "Whose there?" "Where am I?" Unanswered questions never to be answered nor heard "Hello" all I hear is an echo, all I see is darkness. A pair of ice cold eyes, remember them when you burn, remember them when the countdown's finished. "Let me out" silence, you'll never escape it, fait, not something you can escape. You'll remember them, the icy orbs; you'll remember them and freeze. Choose Wisely. 3… _

Heart pounding and a screeching sound woke her up, not until she'd opened her eyes and remembered where she was did the sound stop.

"Lily!"

There was a pounding on the door.

"Lily, open the door" It was James.

I ran over and unlocked the door and swung it open as swiftly as I could. Without thinking I closed my arms around him and buried my face in his chest.

"Lily what's wrong, what was that sound"

I didn't know at first but now I realized what the screeching sound was.

"It was me"

His body tensed against mine and he stroked my hair and rested his chin on the top of my head, occasionally kissing my hair.

"You're safe now" he whispered "but please, don't lock the door again"

I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists.

"I didn't"

**Mmm, interesting, I really hope you liked the chapter and I wish you a good day, **** until next time *bows deeply***


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters!**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 16**

**James's POV**

Since last nights scene I had refused to let Lily out of sight except for when she went to the bathroom. Lily had on a couple of occasions told him not to worry and that those things only happened at night. I'd waved her off and kept on the safe side of things, if she'd out of nowhere just get a heart attack I'd at least know it and be able to help. She did keep her eyes open and paid attention to everything around her from what I noticed, she didn't actually relax herself, therefore, I wasn't going to either. I was going to watch her 24/7 if I had to and that's that. I didn't hear any more complaints from her after lunch when she was getting even more nervous. All our friends thought we'd gone schizophrenic when we jumped at any sound close.

"It's kind of true though, it's not like there would be a letter strangling you in front of the whole school" I chuckled a little.

She tensed and sent a small glare at me.

"Well I didn't worry about any strangling letters until now" she snapped grumpily.

"Sorry" I pouted.

I could see the hint of a smile in the corner of her lips and grinned slightly, making her giggle. Her laughter was something I didn't seem to ever get enough of, every time, her laugh rang I remembered and it made my heart beat with joy. If I felt down, all I would need would be her laughter and I smile again. I looked down at her and wondered what if something happens tonight, what then, she could hurt herself, and she'd even locked the door in her sleep. I still felt as if she wasn't the one who did it though but she said it probably was a sleepwalking thing, even though she hasn't walked in her sleep since second year. I decided that I wouldn't let her sleep with nothing but a closed door and curtains around her, maybe she could fall asleep on the couch where I could keep an eye on her.

**Lily's POV**

The countdown definitely led up to something, the messages were getting delivered in worse way for every time. Tonight I expected a 2. Tomorrow we were going home for the holidays and I wondered how exactly that would affect this. If something happened to her dad she'd be sure to kill the Slytherin king. No one came near to her family, if they attacked Petunia she'd be sure to beat their sorry buts until they wished they'd never been born. Maybe she should stay away from people until the countdown was done. Where would she go though? It's not as if there's any abandoned houses she could go and live in, no she'd just keep an eye open for unnatural things. I know that Slytherins are cruel but it's not like they would kill her, just torture her for a bit. Which was exactly what they were doing, they were torturing her slowly with the thought of what could be worse than the night before. She shuddered at the thought of sleeping that night. James seemed to be thinking of things to do so that she didn't hurt herself, I knew the locking of the door hadn't been me but I wouldn't tell him that, he'd worry his arse off.

"You two are acting out of character today" Dorcas commented while Sirius just nodded next to her with a mouth full of potatoes "You're very pale, both of you, and you've been keeping away from the food"

"No appetite" We chorused.

Dorcas looked between them suspiciously and put down her fork on her plate.

"Okay, but I still want you to eat, you can't starve yourselves just because neither of you has any appetite"

We looked down at our plates and I think we both were thinking the same thing, what if it was poisoned? _This is exactly what they want Lily, eat, the things they do only happen in the night. _I looked up at James and nodded, taking a bite out of the food. I saw him twitch in the corner of my eye but when I swallowed and smiled encouragingly he started eating too.

"You two are acting way too strange, do you think someone's trying to kill you or something?" Dorcas snorted shaking her head.

"Possibly" James muttered beside me and I kicked him hard under the table.

"Ouch!" James exclaimed making everyone stare confused at him "I bit my tongue"

"What's wrong with you Prongs?"

"It hurt, a lot" he tried "I even think I'm bleeding" he opened his mouth and turned to Sirius "can you see any blood?"

I started choking on my held back laughter Sirius grinned at me.

"No but if you don't close your stinking mouth I can fix that"

I laughed a short light laughter, maybe I should just stay here for a while.

"My breath is great you just don't appreciate its wonderful smell"

"No you're right, I don't appreciate the smell of cat shit" Sirius accepted teasingly.

This time even James and Remus laughed.

"You're just jealous" James defended.

"Oh why, of course I am Prongs" Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

I got the feeling that I was being watched and since I suspected who it was I didn't dare turn around and look at him for his eyes would just burn. I focused on my friends before me. How could I choose my friends wisely when I was happy with how it was now, there's no way that I'll just accept a friendship with someone whom I don't like. I hoped beyond hope that this was nothing but an empty threat to get a good laugh out of.

I'd sat down at the end of my bed to pack for going home tomorrow when James knocked on the door.

"Lils, you can't sleep in here tonight" He said leaning against the doorframe.

"Well I'm not sleeping in your room if that's what you're saying"

"No" he exclaimed "I meant the common room"

I put away the shirt I was holding. I guess that wouldn't be too bad, we didn't have to sleep right next to each other but we were still close.

"Yeah, I can do that" I agreed.

"Great" he smiled "want some help?"

He gestured towards my trunk and I shook my head.

"Don't you have your own to pack?" I asked.

"Nope, I did that yesterday" he grinned "I'm always well prepared"

"Good for you" I mumbled and continued stuffing my trunk with things.

I felt his gaze linger on me and I can't believe it but I actually felt comfortable under his watch. I knew he was watching my hair and eyes, they're the things he's commented most and if I find him staring, it's mostly at my hair. He says he loves how it's so smooth and how it contrasts with my eyes. My folding of shirts had slowed down and I found myself staring right in front of me, lost in thought. If I said so myself, I'd gotten quite fond of his ruffled hair and relaxed motions. He seemed so calm and still so observant of everything that happened around him. I remembered the shirt I was folding and put it with the rest in my trunk. I stood up when I was done and looked directly at him.

"Why are you still here?" I asked him with one raised eyebrow.

"If you would change your mind about wanting my help, but I see that you could do that yourself" he smiled.

He'd gone from one person to another so quickly that I'd barely kept up but he really wasn't the annoying git anymore. He was all that I had missed about him, he didn't ask me out anymore and was very cool about it.

"Thanks anyway, I guess" I said walking towards him.

"So, should we go to sleep then?" I asked hesitantly.

He nodded gravely and headed for one of the armchairs.

"You get the couch" he said.

"You don't have to" I started.

"No, seriously Lily" he wore the worried look again "You can sleep on the couch"

I gave up and went to lie down. I curled myself up at one end of the couch and gestured for him to take the other. He sighed and shook his head hopelessly.

"You're way too stubborn for your own good"

I managed a smile and leaned back, after a while, when I'd calmed down, I closed my eyes…

**I thought I'd leave you with a cliff hanger again and just update what happened tomorrow. So you'll get a slightly shorter chap then but I hope you don't mind **** Thanks for all the reviews/alerts of any kind and I wish you a good day! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but you knew that **

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 17**

_Choose quickly, choose wisely. You're wasting your time, you'll burn. "I refuse; I have chosen my friends, what do you want me to do?" He's rising, greater than ever and you're his first prey Mudblood. The cold orbs, staring me down, holding my soul in a tight grip. Burn! Pain, there's horrible pain, but where? Make it stop, can't take it. Falling, I'm dying, I'm falling, catch me. Help, the pain, my soul, let it go, let me breathe. What have I done? You'll never escape, it's not possible. __**Remember sweetheart, there's always a way out, remember… **__an unfinished sentence. A mother's voice, can you help me? I'm lost, I want to be found, I'm dying, and I want to be saved.__ You're safe Lily, I'm here you're safe.__ I don't remember where am I? Who am I and who are you? Why don't I know? You're dying, you're burning, there's no way out. You'll forget never to remember. Memories vanish, life fades. Darkness grants you a new life, take it, or burn. Let me go, let me out, I can't, I can't…Silence, I'm alone, where'd everyone go? Who am I looking for? Locate the burn. My neck…what is it?_

"_**Lily...Lily?"**_

Warm arms around me…

I open my eyes to find James holding me in his lap. I fight against the tears welling in my eyes and remember and put a hand to my neck. A mark, he marked me, I'm marked…

**So it's a very short chapter and I feel as if it got a poem sort of feeling to it, creepy stuff right there. Dark magic, in the mind of one of such innocence, thank you all for the alerts and reviews, enjoy! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its character ;)**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 18**

**Lily's POV**

I kept looking and poking at the mark in the mirror and wondered why they would do such a thing and if it was permanent. It was a skull with a snake slithering out of its mouth. I was afraid to show my face in public, I would wear a scarf and never put my hair up again. Why would they hurt me? How come I forgot things every time I fell asleep? What could possibly be worse than this? It scares me to think that it gets worse; they surprise me with darker things each time. James had helped me a bit but today was the day we headed home and I wouldn't have any of them around. I would have my dad but what was I supposed to tell him? 'Hi dad, I got threatened in school by a Slytherin who now has marked me with a burn mark that might never get away and oh by the way, he's torturing me in my dreams and making me forget who I am and where' I don't think so. No it would be better not to tell him at all, I'll just keep myself in my room, no matter how painful it'll be. I picked up my trunk and pulled the scarf tighter around my neck. James stood at the door waiting for me.

"Are you sure you're going to be fine at home?" he asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"No, but what choice do I have?" I asked frowning.

"Come visit me at least, during the holidays, and write" he said "I want to know if you're okay"

I nodded and he sighed.

"I guess we should go then" he started on his way out.

I followed and we walked quietly down the halls. His face was scrunched up in a thoughtful expression the whole time and I didn't pretend not to know why. If the worst things happened, I'd loose my memories or they'd kidnap me, or maybe even put me in St Mungos. I didn't dare to continue pondering on and shook me head, I can't think about it, I'd finally throw up and get a headache out of worry.

"Please smile" I asked of him stupidly.

He was startled and almost stopped in his tracks.

"What?"

"Never mind" I said, realizing it was probably the most stupid thing she could ask of him right now.

"No I can smile for you" he hurried on "just, why?"

"I can't take thinking about it" I muttered so he barely heard it.

He nodded and continued walking.

"How about this?" he said pulling his lips into the most ridiculous smile I'd ever seen, making me giggle "is this any good?"

I knew he was teasing me on purpose but for this once I just wanted him to go on forever.

"You look incredibly stupid" I laughed.

"No, that's not my stupid look" he made more funny faces and laughed at her when she mirrored them.

"This must look very strange" I said when I didn't have any more ideas of faces and looked around.

"Nah, I think we've already been seen like that ages ago" he commented.

We'd reached the train and started looking for the rest of our friends. Nearly all of the compartments were full and I wasn't too keen on checking every one of them because sooner or later we might stumble upon Slytherins. James seemed to sense my worry and opened to check the compartments without showing her.

"Were the bloody hell would they go?" he exclaimed angrily "to the end of the train just to get a good laugh out of it or what?"

He stomped on the next compartment and I slumped after. I didn't feel like coming face to face with people I had good reason to avoid right now. She'd been threatened and hurt and she was not in the mood for a game. If this was indeed a joke then she wouldn't be particularly pleasant to deal with afterwards. She tugged at her scarf as it itched and warmed her more than necessary. She didn't dare loosen it to much in fear that her mark would be noticed and people would suspect her of Merlin knows what.

"We'll take the next empty compartment I can find and they can be by themselves, I'm definitely not in the mood for hide and seek" he grumbled and threw up, yet another door.

"Whoa, calm down there Prongs" she heard a relieving voice from inside the newly opened compartment.

"Why? Oh why should you choose not to inform or wait for us?" James glared through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, we just thought you'd like the time alone"

I could practically hear the stupid grin growing on Blacks face and for that moment, I felt half murderous.

"Get that grin of your face Sirius Black or else I'll find ways to hurt you so that you won't even remember how to breathe" I snapped and stepped inside, no longer wanting to stand in the corridor where anyone could just notice her.

"But Lily flower, no breathing means no air, no air means no oxygen, no oxygen means no life in my body and no life in my body means dead, and dead means… well dead" he exclaimed dramatically "do you really want me dead Lils?"

"First of all Black, yes, at the moment I do" I started "Second of all, I can't believe you actually know what oxygen is"

I saw Remus roll his eyes in the corner of my eye.

"There are lots we don't know he knows" he pointed out "maybe he's just trying to trick us and just use the words without knowing what they mean"

"What" Sirius gasped "Me? How can you blame me for such a treachery, I thought you were my friend Moony?"

There was a snort from everyone and a slight headshake from James.

"Get over it, I'm pretty sure that has been the case for longer than you've known" I smirked and sat down next to Dorcas.

"I'm offended Lils, why must you hurt me in this way?" he continued.

"Give it up Padfoot" James muttered and hit him half-heartedly on the head.

"Oh, you're no fun" he whined and crossed his arms childishly.

He looked way too adorable when he was pouting so turned my attention to the outside of the train that was flashing by our eyes.

**:3 I wanted a small filler chapter, hope you don't mind. Thanks for all alert of any kind and I wish you a good day ;) 3**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter… oh! Or any of its characters ;)**

**ANYTHING**

**CHAPTER 19**

**Lily's POV**

I could see my dad and Petunia through the crowd when I came through the wall at kings cross. I smiled at dad and enveloped him in a big hug but when I released him I just gave a slight nod and hesitant smile to my sister. She didn't even try to smile back and just nodded. Dad, noticing the strained and silent conversation decided to ease the atmosphere a bit and started chattering gladly.

"So how was your year sweetheart, did something out of the usual happen, have you made any plans for the holidays?"

I went through the answers in my head before speaking them aloud.

"Great! No and kind of" I said the last part slowly and uncertainly.

"Kind of?" he asked with a smile tugging at his lips.

"Well, I think I'll pay Dorcas a visit, I'm possibly going home to James and I think I'd like to visit Alice as well" I said quickly and mumbled the part about James.

"What did you say?" he was now crossing his arms and stared at her with a frown.

"I'd like to visit Alice as well?" I tried, knowing very well that that wasn't what he meant.

"No, the other part" he continued stubbornly.

"I think I'll pay Dorcas visit?" My voice grew squeakier with every word in hope that he'd say 'oh, yes, that one' but that was, obviously not what he'd meant.

"No the middle part, the one about some James?" he'd stopped in his tracks now and I could feel Petunias raised eyebrows on the back of my head.

"Oh, yes, that one" I said, speaking the words I'd hoped would come out of the opposite mouth.

"Yes" he said impatiently "What did you say about this James _Potter_" he put a special tone to his last name and I winced.

"I'm going over to his house" I piped and put on my most ridiculous hopeful smile.

If I had any luck today, he'd get over it quickly after some time of ranting and telling me why he'd never let me do such a thing.

"Why would you want to do that?" he frowned down at her sternly "all you've ever said about him is how he 'annoys you so much, you would give anything to hex him' and 'the next time he asks me out I'll make him wish he'd never been born', I don't want you to end up with some bloke who's gone your whole time you've known each other stalking you"

"It's not stalking anymore, and besides, we're just friends now" I tried to explain.

"How the bloody hell did you end up friends with him?" He flailed with his arms.

"Mum would have thought it romantic" Petunia muttered surprising everyone, even herself.

I looked at my dad and saw his eyes narrow just as I suspected he saw that mine did. Petunia looked even more out of place and threw a hand across her mouth.

"I just…" she looked astounded at what she'd said and it was obviously making it hard for her to talk.

"No you're right, she would've" dad agreed.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"But we're not treating each other romantically, our relationship isn't like that, we're just friends" I exclaimed trying to get the attention away from the dramatic moment.

"Yeah right, you've been babbling about how he annoys you for six years now and then you become friends with him, do you really think you're just going to stay friends?" Petunia laughed humourlessly "you're such a freak Lily; you can't even figure that out, obviously he's just trying new ways"

I reminded myself that I should be prepared for mood swings like this from my sister and not react so harshly when she heard 'freak'. I can't believe I didn't see that coming.

"Whatever, you keep your stupid methods in your own heads, lets just go home" I sighed irritated and started walking again. I heard them following but at different distances, we weren't walking in a row or a group , we'd picked our own pace and walked uneven, like a very badly tuned harp or something. We stepped into the car and I quickly focused on the window, as to show my will to have some silence. A quiet snort came from Tuney in the front next to dad and I didn't even send her a glance, for now I was definitely not in the mood.

I lay down on my bed with a relaxed sigh and took in my room's smell and appearance. I'd definitely missed this place. Dinner had been quiet and awkward and I longed for a good night sleep, but those seemed very rare to find during these past three days since the countdown started. Well, I couldn't avoid sleep forever and I'd rather fall asleep while they're still awake, in case of emergencies. I pulled on my pyjamas and slowly pulled the covers over my cold body. This must be the loneliest feeling ever, I thought as I lay there with my eyes wide open, afraid to close them but finally I couldn't keep it any longer. They shut and I heard as Petunia entered and closed the door to her room. Come on Lily, you have to do this. _But that place, that horrible cold place, and now James isn't here. _There's nothing I can do, I don't have a choice. It wasn't easy but I finally fell into a not so deep sleep.

_There was a cruel laugh ringing inside her head, an ice cold feeling slithering up her spine and a rush to run away. Yet, she couldn't move, she couldn't breathe and she most certainly could not see. She tried to hang on to who she was, fighting the loss of her memory with calming words. My name is Lily Evans; I have a sister, a father and my mother…who's my mother? What did I say? What am I here for? There was something I shouldn't have forgotten, it doesn't worry me anymore. It's gone now; I can't help that, right? That cruel laugh, it's still ringing, I'm hanging on a line, which way? Do I have a choice? I feel as if I should, but I don't know what my choice would be, I don't know myself, so who am I? How can I choose when I don't even remember? This is quite painless, I feel secure, but should I? There's something really disturbing about that voice, should I really trust it? Searing pain in my neck, why? I can't remember? Did I say something hurt? There it is again, make it stop! It's unbearable, it's too much, I'm going to die, the pains to great. I see light, I'll follow it, and it seems like the only right thing to do. _

My eyes flew open, but why? Why was I startled and why was I sad? Why was there a girl shaking me by my shoulders? Did I do something to her? She looks awfully worried.

"Freak"

Why would she call me that? I don't even know who she is. Or do I?

"Lily, Lily, what's wrong with you?"

Lily? Is that my name, why am I crying, it hurts; there's something I forgot, have I been screaming? Why are there tears? Make them stop…

Then I remembered, that face, her words, why I was crying why she was so worried. Everything came back, but in a blur. Everything was out of place; I can't imagine why Tuney would be in my room.

"I have a horrible head ache" I said putting a hand to my neck and rubbing it repeatedly.

"What, on earth is that?" Screeched Petunia horrified pointing at her neck "and why, oh why is it bleeding?"

My eyes narrowed and I was out the door in an instant and locked myself in the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked very much alike a ghost and my mark were indeed bleeding out of every line. My memory loss had lasted longer for this time; I had not known Tuney's face. I sobbed quietly into my hands and wanted to die quickly without all of this torturing.

**That's it for this time, hope it wasn't too gruesome or anything like that, thanks for all the alerts in any ways and I wish you a good day ;) I'm sorry for a late update but my computer didn't want to work with me and then when dad helped me reinstall a bunch of stuff the folder with my chapters for this story kind of locked itself and I thought I had to rewrite them but I managed to get them out ;) I'll see you soon**


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